My cottage is my "sacred place" - the best place in my heart. When ex took maggot there (before I knew about the affair for sure), it just ripped me apart. Still think of it when I look at my stove despite the fact I got a new one. But I don't let it stop me from loving my place. I am so thrilled that I spent so much time fixing it up this summer.
Good for you for trying to tolerate the snakes. I am just not good at it. I look at a photo of one and feel my skin crawl. You are a great example to your daughters.
It is much easier to say "it was all worth it" when the dust has settled as it has for me. Going through it was awful. My heart hurt, I was nauseous, I worried about my financial future, I worried about my kids' psyches - I just worried about it all.
But we are good. My kids don't seem to have turned out with more damage than anyone else's kids. We live in a nice house. I don't worry each month about how the bills will be paid. And for the record - ex stopped paying CS 5 months ago (again) so I've decided to let it go -not worth the fight and we're still good.
While DBing I had to wear rose coloured glasses. I concentrated on all the good in my ex, blocking out the bad. And in my situation - there was a lot of bad stuff. Most of it was his crazy behaviour - the man clearly had a lot of issues. But I did my best to make us a good family and help him through it. Hope she is doing better than me in dealing with his craziness.
D is done. Don't see or talk to the man any more. I am free. It feels great! Of course - it is always easier when your kids are older and more independent - still - little kids, little problems, big kids - big problems.
You will make it. You will be better when it is done too. I found it took about 3 months following the D to really start to feel free. But my mother died the same week as the D so perhaps that affected my recovery as well. I had 2 things to simultaneously grieve. But I got through it.
