Thanks so much for thinking of me. I haven't been doing much internet stuff recently, I was finding it hard to get all my daily work done (children, house etc) and so I severely limited my time on the computer... but I really appreciate you even bothering to check in on me.
The situation with my h has finally settled down now I think. Yesterday he was brave enough to say how he really feels. Basically what we have agreed is that I need to give him some time to sort himself out. He has come to terms with the fact he is a sex addict, has started to go to meetings, and feels horribly remorseful about the life he has lived. Initially he was very confused (as per my last posts) but now I think he has decided that he really wants to come home.
We both recognise that this would be way too risky for us and the children at this point, that is why we have agreed that he should recover whilst he is living elsewhere. I am content to 'wait', either for him, or if not for him, just to let time pass before I move on more completely.
That's the simple bit. The complicated bit is that he is still with the g/f, and he knows he will be with her during this process. The reason he gives for that is that being with her stops him acting out in a more extreme manner. They have a very good sex life, but he knows there is nothing else there.
He's made it very, very clear that he really wants to come home very badly, but he knows he's just too risky for us.
So, either he
a) is totally deceiving me and this is just his way of keeping me hanging on on an emotional level whilst he is having sex with the g/f
b) is totally confused and he will have to admit 6 months down the line that he was talking complete rubbish, he can't really be with us
c) he is telling the truth for the first time in his life and we are going to have a relationship that is going to take some work
I'm taking a risk believing him... but then as he said, we had ended completely as far as I was concerned, we had a clean break. If he wanted to leave me, it was already done. So I'll think I'll just read the DB book again, do some loving distancing (not easy!!) and pray pray pray!
Hope you are well, will check in on your thread to see what is going on. You are very kind to read this again.
HC
Me:36 M:16 D final: 08/09 Ds:10&5 Ss:8&3 Bomb 3xPA 200 sexual encounters 15/06/08
