How to move foreward...

[native]

San,

I feel very strongly that your feelings of hopelessness are not serving you well.

I wish I could say this clearly. Do not put your hope in your husband's return. You seem to be in a nose dive over this, as we all are at times.

But you need to remember a couple of things here.

First, 'don't believe anything your WAS says, and only half of what you see'

So his mother said he was done ? Maybe he is, maybe he isn't. I think almost everyone on this board has gotten that message from their WAS at one time or another.

But whether he stays or goes, you have got to stop letting his choices dictate how you are going to feel about you and your future.

You need to seriously detach from him and use this time to re-discover what makes you happy to be you and do some things you have always wanted to do.

Your H feels your desperation and I think it sends him running.

You have to be strong now. Please stick around and let the wise and caring people on this board encourage you.

Listen, DBing is about becoming a better you, a wiser you. It is about learning what we did wrong, but not wallowing in it. Learing from it.

It sounds as if you believe that you cannot go on without your H. It may feel that way now, but for the sake of your kids you have to pull it together. Take a deep breath. You will be ok...you will be ok.....you will be ok !

Life's most valuable lessons are ones that often learned through the crucible of pain. Don't miss what Life is trying to teach you....