It sounds like you really have your head on straight and I know you'll get through this. In regard to being the one to file for divorce...I would hate to encourage you in the wrong direction and then have it bite you in the a$$, but I do think you should file. For two reasons, one is that legally there is benefit to being the respondent, and secondly H has made it clear he ins't in to being married right now and he seems to have been enjoying "being in the driver's seat"...how about you do shock the crap out of him by putting yourself in the driver's seat. He can run along beside the car
I agree with you on the xbf thing...who knows what will happen but you need some time to be happy with Trixi and not have to worry about the wants and needs of someone else. Curious though...do you still have feelings for xbf?
