Good! Glad you don't lean on your kids. they need to be kids. They will have plenty of time to be adults.. later!
What if you set a goal: no weeping for a week. Could you do that? could you set that goal? Seriously.
What would it take? What sets you off now? being alone? Evenings? mornings? Paying the bills? figure it out. What sets you off now?
Ad then, when you figure it out - what if you took steps to avoid that? if you get lonely and weepy in the evening, what if you called a friend, every evening, and just talked about anything or nothing. What if?
or if it is mornings when you cry, what if you did something totally different? Went for a run? Went to the grocery store, coffee shop, etc etc. or if it is paying the bills by yourself, what if you went to the library to do it, or a coffee shop, some public place, and you knew you didn't want to fall apart there. You'd pay the bills and be done with it and no breakdown.
What if you did this for a week - you took explicit steps to avoid the loneliness or the pain of bill paying or whatever it is - what if you did this for a week and didn't cry the entire time? What if when you found yourself getting upset about what your husband was doing you said to yourself, Treese, you're a good person. You have a good heart, and you have beautful kids who love you. You are compassionate and loving and sexy and smart. And that guy is making a mistake, and he will regret it. Could you say that to yourself?
What if you printed that statement out and taped it to your bathroom mirror, so that you saw it every time you washed your hands, every morning, every evening when you brushed your teeth? what if you pasted it to the rearview mirror in your car, so every time you drove, you remembered how cool you are. What if you included a copy in your purse so every time you went looking for money, you remembered you are righteous and beautiful. What if you did that?
what if you made it an entire week? If you made it a week without crying, I'll bet you could then imagine going a month. You could imagine it. Then you could work towards it. And then you'll do it. Still telling yourself how much you rock.
Then after you make a month, you could imagine 2 months. Then 3 months in a row. Then you could imagine 6 months, and once you don't weep for 6 months over his actions, you could imagine a year.
And then you will be there. you will still be sad, you will still have that little spot of sad wonder - what happened to us? - but you will be busy living. You will have your sleeves rolled up, you will be confident that you rock, that you are loved, that you are important. And you will have a beautiful life.
