I hate to tell you, but he showed up with a chainsaw and had cut up one of the trees before I was even out there! He was mad on the phone; I do think he was embarrassed by the thought that the church was having to help me or us out "with charity". I think he doesn't realize or think sometimes at how he isn't being a very good dad and what kind of husband he is. He is so mean, he hurt me by saying "I'll be needing a lot of their charity soon" I guess after the D b/c he wants to leave me penniless from what he says.
By the time he got here, he had calmed down, probably got over the embarrassment by being angry at me! So he was acting normal. I was probably way too nice and friendly too him again. OK, you know it's my nature-don't know if I can fight that but I will try harder next time!
I did go out as soon as I heard the chainsaw & D8 and S14 and I brought H water (b/c it was so hot) and then hauled the tree parts to the curb. I mean 2 huge trees!!! It must have taken us almost 2 hours! H cut the trees down while we worked also. I was working mostly on the other tree while he would work on the other tree.
I even joked him with about keeping some of the tree trunks to make into a clock; he had a big piece of tree trunk he had gotten and we had it most of the marriage I mean at least 10 years and he never turned it into a tree clock of course! But we did laugh about that today! If he had actually done that again with OW, I really would have thought that funny, but guess he is mature enough at least to realize that wouldn't work!!!
H apparently spent his whole paycheck on vacation and didn't have the grocery money for us so he met us at the store and had to pay with his credit card. He's just living like money's no problem putting stuff on his cards and planning to plead poverty with the divorce. Hope he doesn't get away with that but whatever.
I did screw up again, I know y'all are going to bring out the 2x4s but I offered H some dinner--we were eating while he was here and I was always taught it's rude not to offer, and I know he is rude, but someone has to teach the kids about politeness! Then I washed his socks, he had left them all wet and gross on the porch steps, so I asked him if he wanted me to wash them. OK, I promise I will never again wash for him, and at least this time I didn't stay up half the night!!! I walked into the living room where he was supposedly watching TV with the kids and he was texting OW. Geez, after getting back from a almost week's vacation he's texting her the few hours he spends with his kids! I was upset for about 5 minutes but was working out upstairs so got over it pretty quick. Progress--when he used to do stuff like that I was upset for hours maybe even days so hopefully at some point it won't even bother me at all.
The good news is that he is so horrible now as a dad and husband, that honestly I think D might be a relief, just like his moving out was. I was thinking today he is pretty much my total opposite in just about every way.
I was so teary and sad after he was mad at me again; I haven't cried in I think a couple months. But by the time he got here an hour later, I was strong again, had great PMA, and was confident and laughing and I doubt he prob. realized I had ever been upset--so I'm glad about that! Karen
