H moving out!! Crisis I need help

[Trying2live]

Ok ya'll back for a few. He took the car with son to Home depot so I am sneaking on.
So yes you are exactly right about continuing in this same manner at some point, even now your love for him is draining out of your love bank for him, I can hear it. Why because you are sharing him and you know it. This is a very very difficult place to be. For me its hard. Seeing my H wander around the home this weekend for the 1st time in 5 months is hard and knowing he is going home to her tonight. I have to be honest with myself and know that I cannot carry on in this fashion for too long. Its destructive to me and its full cake eating for them. It's okay to eat cake for a bit, but it cannot be for long. Trust me you will know when Its time to go to Plan B because you will start to hate him. I can do this right now because I know it's only for 27 more days.

Since you have not gotten through the book and you are undecided on what you want yet, my recommendation is to the best of your ability meet his emotional needs and GAL. If you can go to the back of the book and do the questionnaire like its him and meet those top 5 until you know you need to go to Plan B.

You can go to Plan B with children that's where you must have a really well thought out Plan B. I have 2 children and on October 31st I will, come hell or high water, be going to plan B. Am I dreading it? Yes! But not more than sharing him for the rest of my life and disrespecting my self and being a horrible example of a woman to my 17 year old daughter. Over my dead body will I show her that. She watching me now fight for the marriage and make sacrifices but she knows its for a period and she knows Plan B and why. I understand you have smaller ones, but please don't sell out your own soul and self respect for anyone. Yes meet his needs and love him. But I wouldn't carry on this way forever, you can't anyways its impossible. You will at some point have more hate than love so you need to protect that love.

I say yes go to the birthday dinner enjoy your self and be confident and happy. That's the image of the OW you are competing with. You think OW is unhappy or with low self esteem, crying or begging our H's? No, she is smiling from ear to ear and that makes them feel great. So IF and only IF you can go in that manner then go if not gracefully bow out very sweetly.

I say do not go there with letters or anything like that. They are not in any way ready. They are in the fog and that will only look as week and manipulative in their minds. They will feel you are trying to guilt them in. Now what I have done is signed up for a website where I can create a family website. ITs the http://www.thefamilypost.com I have started it and given him access to it. he loved it. He said I can't wait til it's finished. Similar to the letters but yet not.
Before my H came I hid everything. All books everything. I want him to wonder. Mystery!!! I want his little brain to squirm. Girls this is an all out war for our marriages and everything that you know in your heart that you feel led to do put it into action.
GAL super super important! They need to see it! It reeks confidence! I know it seems like the total opposite but do it anyways. And be creative! Take a dance class or something you've always wanted to try=go for it. It will help you.
I will jump on in a bit after he leaves. Hoping for a hug this time but we'll see want it as natural as possible. This is hard work, but I feel myself growing and that's the best.
Keep going guys. For your self, for your kids and for your H's. You'll know what to do and when trust God in your heart you'll know I promise. Back in a bit...OXOX