After any little set back, and I would say that these setbacks occur when I am not acknowledging his pain, he gets all quiet and uninterested around me. This happened a couple of days ago.
So on Friday night we did not see him. On Saturday he came around home and dug a trench for new plumbing ( he does this with the thought that the house will be put on the market soon). He left a little after I got home. That night i sent a couple of texts - no response.
It seems he goes out of the way for me not to know what he is doing or who he is doing it with. Wants control of his life back he says. Is this normal or is he really closing us down?
On sunday he sailed all day but did invite himself around for tea. This is in order to see kids. He said very little to me , not interested in my day or anything. After dinner, I took myself off for a walk for an hour, so that he could be himself with kids. I came back home, he had cleaned the dishes. He stayed for coffee. Seemed happier and left.
I later sent him a text letting him know that I realised he has a lot of pain etc.
Today on the phone with plumbing things and cable TV ( I asked his opinion ) and he was very happy. Still no personal questions asked.
Where is he at ? Is he angry ? is he out of love? is he just enjoying the upper hand ? is he enjoying being the victim?
i know that I need to give him space, but i am so frightened of giving him so much space, that it is too hard to come back. Or that he will find another woman. My biggest fear right now.
I know i need to GAL and i am slowly, but I hate doing things on my own. He does these sailing lessons which should of been for both of us. He said that if we ever get back together , he could teach me.
It would of been a first good couples thing we had done together, with thoughts of our retirement EVER. I very sad loss for me.
