You are so right that each sitch is different and people react differently. Some are fast movers and others are slow, then those that never get it.
I often wondered if I would take my h back. I had to learn to forgive him first and finally move past it. We don't talk about it(A) anymore. It is behind us, thank God.
I think you found out that things have to go at there own pace no matter how hard we try to get them moving faster. I too tried that and it just sent my h reeling backwards. Once I took all of the pressure off is when I started to see him inching so slowly towards me. Of course, that was my sitch.