Above is the link to my prior thread...hard to believe I have locked yet another one!
So to recap, H wavered back and forth for 20 months, 4 weeks ago asked me down to "see his dogs" and then one week later when I random text him, he states he was setting up a mtg. with his L...WTF??!!! anywho, 1 week ago, I received a letter from my L stating he was wanting to settle "the matter" and all parties were in agreement(again WTF??!!) and all assets were equally divided...again, yes you know it is coming...WTF??? Oh and reconciliation was not attainable. I told my L, we never tried to reconcile, or put any effort towards reconciliation, so how could it have been attained?
My game plan: Make H and his L... DO WORK and lots of it!! I am lucky to live in a "fault state" where they will have to prove to the judge one of us had major faults during the M. I am also seeking out a conciliation hearing, since we never even tried to reconcile and he did state in a legal document, something about reconciliation. Time will tell. I do have a few cards in my hand, thank God for a few favors, first, both H and his L are procrastinators!! yeah!!, second, judges in my district are pro-woman (sorry guys..but for me this is a good thing) and lastly, he will have to admit some pretty crazy stuff in order to prove to the judge why we shouldn't be granted this hearing. Also, most of the justices are Catholic, I am Catholic, we were Married Catholic, so it goes against my religious beliefs to seek D. So throwing that card out there doesn't hurt matters either. So got a few things I am thinking could work in my favor.
So, one big prob. Say the judge does rule, and mandates MC...I am almost positive H is not going to be overly happy with this decision. Again, I will take things as they come, one step and one day at a time. I am rather surprised, it's been a week and a half...and no calls from my L!! I kind of like the procrastination card
H-32 Me-29 T-10years M-4yr (10/04) Me- WAW 1/07 I filed for D 2/07 D put on hold 5/07 H re-files for D 9/08 WOW! trying MC 10/08
"Work like you don't need the money, dance like nobody is watching, love like you've never been hurt!"
Hmmmm. That is a VERY thin line. Probably will piss him off which is not good. Told my W that I would not pay the 500 for a no-fault. I told her I would cooperate and sign, but not pay it. I am confused. I thought Illinois was a no-fault state because you can just go to the court house and get the papers and if there is no argument over assets, you just pay the court fee if both parties agree. Anyway, despite my recent emails, things have changed, she still wants a divorce and was ENRAGED when I told her my terms remain the same. Plus, she is close to losing her house which can't make her too happy. Geeez, I forgot what DBing says about situations like this. Walk carefully.
I agree, it is a VERY VERY delicate line to walk. As for the fault state, I am going off of advice offered from L, free advice from a friend who is a L; nevertheless, I will take all the advice I can get.
I can not help but ponder the fact since H hired a slimeball L, and said slimeball is only out for himself and $$, if he sees motion for conciliation, if he will advise H to go to MC willingly. This L, tends to look at the $$pot, first then make decisions, since H has no $$pot, he may advise instead of going to court and running up L fees, to send H to MC willingly. again this is just speculation between a friend who is L; however friend who is L is currently in a battle with said L and has known slimeball atty for years and knows how he operates...
sounds like you are walking the line with me! the wonderful, damned if you do , damned if you don't. My H has a lot to lose as well if he goes through with the D, time will tell
keep your chin up!
i take it you are from IL as well...being a bears fan!!
thanks for the input christa
H-32 Me-29 T-10years M-4yr (10/04) Me- WAW 1/07 I filed for D 2/07 D put on hold 5/07 H re-files for D 9/08 WOW! trying MC 10/08
"Work like you don't need the money, dance like nobody is watching, love like you've never been hurt!"
I am feeling stronger every day, but each morning I start out a little low. Each Day it gets a little better. I DO NOT like being alone. That may be the hardest thing for me.
The procedure went real well yesterday. The Doc. wants me to come back in 6 month for same procedure. It is looking good. Thanks for asking.
“sounds like she is second guessing herself. continue to lay low...make her think!”
Yes, I think your right. (I hope) She may wish to start over as friends and move forward from that point. I got Dr. Phil’s CD on Relationship Rescue and have started listening to it. It in conjunction with DR/DB is giving me some good information.
I include a funny card in her mail that she picked up when she was at home. She sent me an email telling about her paying her bills. She also thanked me for lunch and the card. she said it made her laugh. I know that is better than making her cry. I emailed back tell her that she was welcome and to have a good trip this coming weekend.
I am sorry that you are getting information on H and OW. I know that hurts. It keeps that wound open and the pain fresh. It must be hard on you. Hang in there, stand up straight and keep your head into the wind. They say the information is power, but in this case it my not be good information. In that case it may be better to say no news is good news.
I see that you are up late studying. I have always told my students that being rested for a test is just as important as the knowledge you have for the test. It is important for you to stay focused for these finals. I know it is easer said than done right now, but this is an important time for you. Your sitch will be there when you get back to it, Get by the important time for you and then get back to the sitch.
Well, did you get through with your files? Do you know how you did? You should feel relieved that is over and you have some breathing room now. I know you are getting ready for the next phase. There always seems to be another bridge to cross. Watch out for those bridge Trolls. Some of them can be more challenging than others. Just keep you head up and keep moving forward. One step at a time, each step gets closer to the end of the road (goal).
Christa, can you come over and remind me that orthopedic sitch's are time consuming, but very fixable? I'm feeling down, about the long week ahead. Trying desperately to take care of myself and kids first. I think I'm going to go get my hair cut today. Peace. p.s. Have you ever checked into a Retrouvaille weekend?
Last edited by goldeylox; 10/05/0802:19 PM.
Me:44, WAW hx bi-polar H:48, hx of abuse S:22, S:19, D:16 Filed Oct 08, dismissed Filed again Jan 10, dismissed Now Piecing alter persona: SuperBoots
I bet the finals weren’t as bad as you think. It sounds like to me that if you don’t make all “A” you think you have failed. I know you have heard this one before, but I’ll say again. You know what a person that makes a “70” on a medical licensing Exam? Doctor
It also shows that you have a lot of CHARACTER too keep trying for perfection. Life is one CHARACTER builder after another CHARACTER builder. Keep up the hard work on your classes. Your sitch will follow.
Thanks for being of proud of me. I need the stocking.
<------ What christa looks like when FG neglects her for days!