Andrea- your H sounds so much like mine. In my H's case, his clinical depression would show itself as anger and impatience with the kids, how I kept the house, me not being back to work yet. I spent way too much time reacting to his bad moods. Now I know I need to be proactive instead - try to let my GOOD mood bring him up, instead of letting his BAD mood bring me down. (Him going back on the antidepressants helped a lot too! ).
I know what it is like to be trapped in that situation - you need more help with the kids and house in order to find time to get back to work, but H feels like he shouldn't have to do any of that stuff because you're "not working".
Try changing your routine at home so that he doesn't feel so much like you're slipping back into the "old" relationship. And maybe talk more with him about your ideas or plans for working - he might feel better if he knew you were thinking about it. What kind of work have you done in the past? What kind of ideas do you have of things you'd like to do now? Are your kids old enough to start taking over more of the household chores? Don't expect your H to - he's too overwhelmed right now, with his depression and work etc.
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