Hi Andrea, I'm not surprised you are having these feelings at all! It's normal. You are having another birthday. That's good! Your still plenty young, but you feel life is passing you by in some respects-like passion. You also got very independent while your H was gone this last time. You had space to take care of just you. To do what you wanted when you wanted. I know a part of us enjoys that independence even when we long to reconcile with our S. I think you have to learn a balance of taking care of you and doing what you need to do with your family and H. Women tend to put everything they have into their M and family and little is left for themsleves. It sounds like your H is trying to meet your needs. Maybe you can talk to him about your need for passion, and come up with ways to step it up a notch in that direction. If you don't feel comfortable asking him for what you want, then start being more passionate yourself towards him and see how he reacts. You have friends that are having passionate relationships. You see it and long for it for yourself. I know what that's like. Take some time for yourself if you need it. It will give you time to think and reflect. Would your H be upset if you took a weekend away? Maybe getting a part time job will help you feel more fullfilled. Do whatever it is you need to do for yourself. You will have to meet your own needs-you know you can't look for someone else to do it. Still.....we want our S to be affectionate and loving. Everyone needs to feel loved. I think your H is trying Andrea. You said he was not raised in a very passionate family and you were. You will have to be patient with him, and you know you can guide him gently into being more passionate. I know you'll figure out what you need to do and pull it off wonderfully! Keep posting, and venting on here-it's a safe place. Rachael
