Peicing but Angry and Confused.......HELP !

[native]

So, I don't know what to make of my wifes sexual reawakening and her confession of it to me.

After 2 mos. seperation she says her sexual desire has returned but she is not attracted to me.

From much earlier conversations I know that before we were dating, and we were just friends, she made it known to me that she was attracted to me.

I told her at the time (9 yrs ago) that I wasn't interested in her in that way. Her response was to 'turn off' that attraction to me. This is what she told me.

She said that later, after I had proposed to her that she had hoped the attraction would return, but it never did.

During our M, she never initiated sex and rarely affection. She wanted me to figure out how to turn her on.

In retrospect, she needed to be wooed in specific ways that I was ignorant of for the longest time, and she was very vague about what she needed.

Eventually when she was getting ready to announce she wanted a seperation she cited that she could not live without intimacy and romance.

I confess, those were really general words to me and they meant different things to me than her apparantly.

What I did understand that she needed, I withheld in reaction to her constantly withholding sex from me. I was really tired of trying and getting nowhere.

She does not want to 'sleep around', or so she says, so she has a dilemma. She says it is a cruel joke God is playing on her.

I don't know why she even told me all this. She won't allow me to do anything at the moment, we are not even dating.

But I sense she wants me to be able to do something about it. It seems like what she is saying, through her accusations that she wishes I could turn her on. I feel like she is giving me mixed messages. ( earlier in the day she left message and was very lighthearted, asking how I was feeling as I had been sick: this is completely out of character from her recent attitudes towards me)

But I have been going dark, not pursuing, not calling, texting, etc unless necessary.

I also disinvited myself to a family dinner with her brother and his W, her Mom,etc tonight because I don't feel comfortable being there, based upon her words, which hurt me deeply.

Any advice ?