Today i feel just terrific... just getting home after an exhaustive and intensive session of gym... after a lovely and unforgetabble night with my H... and after receiving an aswer of that contacts i called looking for work and very interested in my person... hurra....!!... god will help me to find it, bc god is always with me, as always is my dad up there in the sky.... see you around... andrea
You sound great Andrea! I'm so happy that your H is back and you both want the M to succeed. Your posts help me see that all this take time and patience. I am trying to be patient, but it's so hard as you know. At least we are seeing each other and we're moving in the rigth direction. Keep posting and giving up that wonderful insipration! Rachael
Rachael i am so glad to know about you again...!!.. i wrote you a little on your post and i am glad to see that in some way my story can help you to have patience...!!... this is the most difficult issue an all...!! Ok, my M is OK and i am OK, only i dont have any job still and i feel like i need it and of course our economic also need it... my h is a little stress bc the situation but we are handling this ok... and i am trying not to pressure him and to be too much considerate with him, the spents, etc... Our taller son and d came back after the camp and again the familly is full...!!... i am doing a lot of exercise and i am feeling great i think i had lost a size...!!.. My baby girl is sixk so we didnt sent her to school... i am waiting that to beguin moving fast toward a job, it seems i feel a little stuck in this issue...!!... My mind still plays a little with thoughts of the past... but i can controll that and try not to impact my life with it...!!... Strange that my thoughts are about the first OW, maybe bc on our first separation there was an specific OW who chase him and they were together for almost 4 months... but there are no evidence about her or anyone..!!... See you around.. Andrea
Hi water, i will visit your post soon...!!... Well, everything is OK between h and me, although he is still so stress bc econmic situation and sometimes i accept i dont help him bc some comments, so i need to work on that and try to be patience and accept the difficult situation we have now... relax and hope the situation changes soon...!!... Maybe bc that we hadnt beem intimate, sex, the last days but we had enjoyed a beautifulll day at the beach with kids, talking a lot and relaxing...!!... Something had happend... when we were separate for second time, months ago, i had found out he had been with OW in a hotel in another city of my country... so, now we have an invitation to that city for a bautipsm, and he said w will go to that hotel... i dont feel welll about tht, but i didnt mention my feelings to him... bc the key is not to get again the past... lets see how i can handle that and if i can accept going to that hotel... andrea
Hello Andrea, I didn't ahve a chance to read all the posts yet , but your last one caught my attention. You I had a similar situation myself. We had a chance of staying at the same hotel he and ow stayed for a weekend. I wasn't sure if it was going to be a good idea, and neither did he. However I decided that maybe it could bring something positive and we went. The first hours were quite awkward, with me thinking about what had happened and feeling a bit depressed, and him not really knowing what to do or say. However after a bit we decided on doing something. We planned on having a good time, thoughts about the affair or no thoughts about the affair. We went to the pool and had fun together, we had dinner at the restaurant and had a wonderful talk. WE went up to our room and we made some more new memories . You know what, I guess it depends on each person, but I can put aside the unpleasant thing easily, and for me it worked. Actually it was very positive. Because before that everything I passed that chain of hotels I would become tense and somewhat depressed. After it was much different. The new memories we created there really made a difference and I was able to think about those instead of imagining what might have gone there when they had been there together. AS I said each person reacts differently, but for me , it made things better to go. Hugs nightshade
"Each and every one of us is deserving of a kind word, a gentle thought and the gift of understanding. "
Nightshade... thanks... thanks very much for this instant replay... it helps me a lot... and yes, mauybe you are so right... making new memories and throwing away the bad ones...!!.... again, thanks, andrea
You're welcome andrea, sometimes we just have to look at things from a different perspective. Hope it works as well for you as it worked for me:) Hugs nightshade
"Each and every one of us is deserving of a kind word, a gentle thought and the gift of understanding. "
Andrea-I know it would be hard knowing your H was there with OW. Does he know you know he was there with her? With everything you have been through with him, I know you will figure this out. If you suggest going somewhere else, you are bringing her up again to him. Building your own memories in that place I think is a good idea. Let him see that you are NOT intimidated by her memory. Let him see that you trust that he is done with her once and for all. I know you do not bring the OW up to him, and that is good. I think he probably knows your boundaries where they are concerned. He is with you because that's where he wants to be. NOT with them. You were more important to him. It's hard to trust once it's been betrayed, I know. If we are to move on though we have to "act as if" we do long before we actually do. His actions are what's important. He is acting like he loves you from what you say. Actions speak louder than words. If he were cold and distant, then it would be different, but he's not. You must be doing something right girl -It's working, so keep it up! Keep us posted, Rachael
. You know what, I guess it depends on each person, but I can put aside the unpleasant thing easily, and for me it worked. Actually it was very positive. Because before that everything I passed that chain of hotels I would become tense and somewhat depressed. After it was much different. The new memories we created there really made a difference and I was able to think about those instead of imagining what might have gone there when they had been there together.