abdrea,
Have you considered working a little (as opposed to alot) - is your work something that you could do for say 16 hr
a week (4 hr a day or 2 days a week) or where you can work a month or two (on a contract) at a time - this may lighten
your H's burden. Discuss the possiblilities with your H. He may not want you to work at all - think about it and
then discuss it with your H. Even if it is to see what he is thinking ... and to put your thoughts out there -
yes, we all need a rest, but sometimes I think the MLC is the 'rest' or escape for the WAS and you want to avoid that!
Andrea, continue to be his friend and that would mean sharing the burdens and responsibilities (cuts it in half)
and sharing the joys and blessings (doubles them!). There may be other ways you can help lift the cloud of financial
responsibility that your H is carrying - re-write the budget with him or on your own (but include him in the process) -
decide together what are 'needs' and what are 'wants', then prioritize the 'wants' and eliminate what you have to ...
that could be some or all of them ! depending on the priorities you set together and the finite amount of $.
In the Bible men had stewards, who were responsible for the finances of their master... we are stewards today of our
own finances that God has blessed us with:
Luke 12:42
And the Lord said, Who then is that faithful and wise steward,
whom his lord shall make ruler over his household, to give them their portion of meat in due season?
This has been a lesson for me in this journey ... my plan was to be debt free by now...I did not speak up when
I should have and I was not a good steward because I did not want my H to do without (and I did not make him aware of
every money matter and the bottom line) - we both worked and we both paid bills - I had targeted the surplus in my
income to pay off debt but I should have repeated that and engaged H in that process. We could have been debt free
in 3 years. I should have stated my plan and gone forward with it, even if my H had OW ... he would no have had
money for OW! Of course, I was of the mindset, "ok, this will make life for 'us' desirable, comfortable, etc...
an investment in our future..." I am now unable to work and am struggling through straightening out our financial
situation which will probably include bankruptcy which is a HUGE problem for my H (not that I am looking forward to it)
but he has worked every day of our marriage for 31 yr and we have always paid our debt and he blames me for the loss of
my income - it is not logical nor true, but it is real to him.
andrea, I told you the above because if it prevents you (or someone else)from the errors I made it makes my bad
experience have value.
The other lesson that I still struggle with is tithing - seems we always need the amount of money we make, but the
reality is that God gives us everything - we are only giving back to Him a small offering of what He has given to us.
As I get my situation under control, I will open a separate savings account and put 10% of my (our if H agrees) gross
income into it and use it to help 'feed the sheep' by supporting the Church(es) and ministries that the Lord leads
me/us to support. I will not keep this information from my H.
