Ello there! Ok my thought. You are doing outstanding. You are GAL'ing glad your playing tennis. Keep it up and add more! Be confident,cheerful and slightly disengaged but yet not. The hug was GOOD and I LOVED that you pulled away first. Gives him something to think about and is real confident, not clingy and weak and still is loving and meeting a need-good stuff!
I like that you are not adding more questions about the relationship and giving some mystery to your self. This is really good. At this point the friendly conversation is good. Don't talk about OW or your relationship yet when you talk. He's coming in and out of the alien fog. If you've read the book Surviving An Affair that I mentioned sounds like you would be a great candidate to start a 4 week very good Plan A and move immediately to a plan B. He in my humble opinion is cake eating. This is good and bad. Good if your in Plan A, you've done the questionnaire in his place and know his needs and your going to Plan B in the next 4 weeks. You want him to remember how much he loves cake. Its BAD if you have no plan and you going to let him have his cake and eat it too. Cake eating is not good if done too long, usually ends up for the worse. But if somehow he can see what he may end up missing and all the fantasy is removed through exposure and a solid Plan, sounds like he could come around. I would definitely not allow him to much cake for very long and I would have a definite plan for reconciliation and a no contact letter to OW, and defined requirements before I would just let him on in. Does that make sense? Ask away, if you need to I'm on the forums daily. I may forget to drop by yours and if I do, come by mine.
Me-38 H-38 Married 18years Daughter-17 & Son-9 Discovery of EA/PA 4/23/08 Left home 5/08/08 Moved in with OW 08/01/08
The only rock I know that stays steady, the only institution I know that works is the family. -- Lee Iacocca
