Another one bites the dust (2)

[No Longer BH]

I have decided that there is no point in holding anger against her. She probably told them thinking she was helping me in some odd way. I dont like that she lied to me and reacted in such an awful way....it was eeriely similar to how my STBXH acted when he got caught having his A. Projecting all his guilt at me and masking it with anger. I get her reaction, just not the degree of the reaction. What is done is done, I cant change it but I can deffinately decide who I let close to me and who I dont.

I have talked with a different friend who has a brutaly honest personality. She has reassured me that I have not asked too much of any of them and that this was her issue. Some people can keep a secret and other's cant. Obiously the weight of the secret was too much for her and she had to let it out. But when she got caught she did not want to face the shame of what she did.

I have learned so much in my journey and holding on to anger or resentment only eats at me. She did what she did, I cant change it. I can, however, decide how I will proceed with my relationship with her from here on out andit will be happy neighbor with her too. Life is too short to have the drama she caused and the betrayal she caused. I dont need to have someone like that close to me in my life. I have already been stabbed in the heart by the one I loved the most, I dont need to keep having others reinact the same hurt with me.

Thank you for your support and kind words. I am really ok, just was very shocked when it happend. Felt like I was in the twilight zone there for a moment (or jounior high school and who wants to be there again???) I know that I have not asked anything of my friends that I would not be willing to give to them in a heart beat. It has only been 5 months since Dday. I believe I am handeling things very well considering all that has happend in that short amount of time. Its good to know now that I have been too much for her so that I can learn to rely on those who are willing to give me support when I truly need it.

And I just want to say Thank God for this board. It has been a life saver on so many occasions. Only people who have expierenced the same pain can understand my journey. Thank you all for being here to help support me....even if it is just to send a hug my way. It really helps.