Trying2live- the new post 1

[Trying2live]

Hope,
I can totally understand about the work thing. I wish you could expose. IT would break up this dumb fantasy they have going on. It can stay that way a lot longer when no one knows, but I know that's a very difficult situation. If you were able or have someone else to the pressure of what everyone thinks of them will seriously tarnish that fantasy bubble.
I don't recommend pointing out that he is lying about going by his self. HE knows he's lying and you confronting him will not make you look confident and that your GAL'ing. Now is the time to GAL my friend, he needs to see and hear that you are confident and living life not hanging on his every word. Yes be sweet, try to meet any emotional needs, but it must seem as though your oddly happy and why so when you should be terribly miserable.
But again, I wish you could expose. It would blow a huge hole in all of it.
Well I made it through day 2 of Plan A. Sent an email this morning for the chore list. Said that things were working so much better and that he did a great job and thanked him.

H came to the football game. H has not made it to any of the practices since all this mess was happening or met any of the coaches so I said why don't you go over and meet the coaches. Told my son, go take your dad and introduce him to them. He seemed very happy to meet them. During the game I was freezing I forgot my jacket and my H offered something for me to use. Just made some small talk and enjoyed watching son. He has watched all the games a far(kinda sad he'd stay really far away)but this time he came right up to us. I'm sure it felt good for him.

DD17 talked H into taking us to lunch. So we all went to lunch and stayed 2 hours just talking and joking as a family the way we used to. DD17 says dad seems a little different. I quickly say yes he seems better but remember he is having his cake and eating it to so I'm sure he feels pretty happy. She smiles and says yeah your right mom. We made small talk and thanked him for lunch.

My son is so happy to have his dad around. He keeps saying why are you being so nice to dad and letting him come over. I say son, I'm working on myself and trying to get strong and forgive your dad. I'm very nervous about Plan B for him. I fear he may get mad at me because he enjoys his dad so much. I'll let you all know if he gets angry with me for cutting dad off. I'm sure I'll need all your help in explaining to him.

We thanked him for lunch kids hugged him H said I'll see you guys tomorrow. I wanted to get a hug you guys but it just was an awkward moment so I didn't go there. Maybe tomorrow. I hate goodbyes!

He needs to finish more chores and car work. He only got half the list done. I wish I had more stuff to give him. You think I should invite him to son's football practice during the week? But then If I do, when I go to Plan B I don't want to see him. I mean I'm not playing around with the Plan B, when its dark time, I want it to be pitch black. I want no contact. I understand the importance of it. But then what do I do about seeing him at the games? How should I go about that? We will have about 1 month more of games from my going dark.

The next time we're together if we don't see him before that will be Disneyland on Thursday. It's hard to not think about what's going through his mind. Is he thinking about her while he's with us? I know-stop. I know it says to be upbeat and cheerful, but I think If I'm too cheerful he may read into it so I'm just being kinda laid back and casual and perky at times if we are joking. Boy this is hard work at first. I guess it becomes second nature after a while.
Just trying to meet his admiration needs and listening attentively for his conversational needs.
Tune in tomorrow for more....By the way if you can read the book either slowly or twice so you can grasp the concepts it's better...XOXO