Thanks for listening Sara. You are right, it is a knot inside both of us, but for different reasons. I had last night pictured in my head. The kids would leave, I would put out all the blankets, pour the wine, we would sit/lay together on the floor for the movie. Then I would take H to our room, light the candles, and give him a massage.
Instead, he is watching ESPN and gangster-rap documentaries. Nothing wrong with that in general, but it wasn't my vision of our time together...
Something needs to change and we both need to keep working on it...
There is a part in the movie "The Break Up" w/Jenifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn where she is upset he didn't offer to help with the dishes. Him--You want me to do the dishes? Fine
Her--NO, I want you to WANT to do the dishes.
Him--Who WANTS to do the dishes?
For me, it is the same circular argument, but instead of dishes, it is "hang out together doing nothing but enjoying each other". I don't want H to do it so he can check that box off his to-do list, I want him to want to spend time with me, to look forward to it, to plan it himself sometimes......But demanding he do that will never get the result i am looking for b/c it would still be ME-driven. Make sense?
