Trying2live- the new post 1

[hope3343]

Hi All, tough day, as stupid as it sounds this is the first day that I have not talked/seen H all these years. He was "out of town" last night and I know he was with OW (she left work 1/2 day). Having the flu and just feeling lousy it has been a horrible day. I want to fight with him, he said he was going away alone (which of course i knew was a lie), and why do I feel I need to proof he is lying. Also it is really bearing down on me that H is going out with his direct report. If I expose it they both get fired but it is so morally wrong it is really bothering me. I think H figures I would not have the guts to report it since he would get fired, but I am living such a lie at work I can't stand it. It is such an ethical dilemna. The funny part H was the most ethical man ever and now he is the lowest of the low. How can he rate her in March with raises when he is sleeping with her. It makes me ill.

Also I have been talking to oldest D28 about when she was the OW. Might help all of us. She met Dave at gym and they started working out together. He told her he was broken up with wife (did not happen for additional month), he had 2 kids S9 and D12. She really liked him and after 3 weeks she was at his house and W walks in and goes slightly crazy. That is when my D28 finds out that they were still together. W moves out to mother's house and my D28 still goes out with Dave (she was 23 at the time and dumb - He was 32). Dave tells D that he didn't want to tell her that wife was still around because she was already on the way out. Well D28 thinks she is playing house, she is hanging with his kids - Dave's D12 likes my D but S does not, he has problems at school, etc. Beginning was wonderful, buy many gifts for her, takes her away, he's in love, doesn't love wife, never loved wife, wants to marry her -- everything she wants to hear. Then as time progresses, when they go out they start to drink more and more, Dave starts getting depressed, drunk, maybe some other recreational drugs. Sometimes he starts to disappear. One night D is watching his kids and Dave is out -- guess where - visiting his Wife. My D28 freaks out and goes over and gets crazy, - splits a tire. Dave apologizes says he is asking W for D etc. Things start going downhill, Dave starts picking on D28. Wife loses 40 pounds,gets job, starts going out and it starts impacting Dave. He is depressed, drinking, kids are getting affected. Finally my D28 after 8 months breaks up with him. So what does Dave do?? He goes back with wife. They decide to move to Florida. Then Dave keeps waffling back and forth, calling my D and going back and forth with wife. Then here is a killer -- he asks my D28 to move to Florida and he will set her up in a condo and he will move there with wife and kids and "figure thngs out". Well I am happy to say that D told him to go the h... and finally cut the ties. He did show up her house a few times - once when she was going on a date with someone else.
Just wanted to give everyone the insight of how the H mind works. It was a painful time in my D's life and I have to say she really has relationship issues since then. And I know it is worse for her now that H has left.

Sorry for such a long post but figured it would help for all the W's left behind.

T2L how is it going? I need to get back on board for the love bank. I need to take that quiz also. Hopefully will feel a little better tomorrow.