WAW - Possible MLC I need help, WAWs advice

[thrillisgone]

LD - Sounds to me like you are doing great given the tough circumstances. You are making positive changes for yourself and leading by example. I know you're in pain because I've been there and to a lesser degree am still there.

You sound like a very strong person. I think in time your W will see and appreciate that. She may become attracted to that strength and really need your strength to get back. Having said that you must carry on as if she won't be coming back as one of the keys to victory. She must figure this out for herself.

There are no perfect marriages or perfect people. Be good to yourself, be kind to yourself and rest assured that your love and empathy for your W does not go unnoticed.

I am now divorced but I still love my W deeply and always will. I can't put my life on hold while she continues her journey as she may never come back. Still I keep some faith. There are two reasons for this. We had 30 years together. 30 action packed, challenging and wonderful years together. No matter where each of us goes, the history we had together was special and can not be duplicated. Secondly, despite the divorce there are signs that my W is struggling, that she loves me and that this is something she just HAS to do...on her own.

We will both grow from the experience and if it is meant to be then I suppose it will be. Regardless, I wish her happiness and peace whether with me or someone else.

I didn't date around while my W was gone even though others encouraged me to do so. I agree with you that two wrongs don't make a right. As a matter of fact I spent all day with a woman yesterday who is very nice. We spent the day discussing, marriage, divorce, childhoods, sex, relationships....you name it. Even though I'm divorced and I could see this relationship progressing, I won't let it. I'm not ready.

I still love my W way too much and it is obvious to everyone who knows me. Be true to your feelings and keep the faith. Don't be a fool or a doormat but there is nothing wrong with keeping the faith and affirming your love for your W. As a matter of fact there is everything right with it.

If it becomes time to really move on, you'll know it.