Dear Bridget: i post to you on your thread excusing me not being with you in a long time...!!... sorry not to be in your forum...!! and thanks for your words and wishes...!
Ok, it seems i need to refocus on the good things trying to avoid the bad feelings or thoughts... The possibility of a new dessilution or break is always present in us after all the suffers... i hope this feelings is ok... and i hope the feelings and scare will pass in time... I say this bc last 24 hours i was thinking too much about my h actitude, thinking about how he might feel about our R, bc we hadnt talked about this in a month... not R talks at all.. just sharing and enjoying... primaly bc he is a kind of man more action oriented and less words incline...!... so.. lets journal the positive to avoid the negative thoughts: 1. On the travel he shows me affection and consideration.. making me gently touchs in front of his buddies, being intimate two times in a week, caring about my needs and desires.... 2. When we were travelling back home i mentioned him i didnt bought a perfum i need... so he went to the shop in the ferry we were travelling back home and bought me one...! 3. Although i smoke a little, he didnt make a big problem bc that, and also said a comment about me trying not to disrupt him smoking in front of him...!! 4. He didnt decide plans without asking me what i want as he tends to do in the past...!!... he always asked me... What do you think if we go to XX beach...?!!...
About yesterday positive points and moves.... 1. He thanks me bc i cook his meat as the maid didnt return home... i did all the home works, cooked, etc etc... and he was pleasent with that and also express this..!!
But my baby girl yesterday night did a big trouble moment crying, i think he was annoyed with that, and i feel as he was evaluating me, the way i controlled her furious...!... he sayed lay in bed while i need to controll and fght with baby girl... The problem is that baby girl doest wants to sleep in her bed, she always wants to be in our bed and now she tends to cry a lot when something she wants we dont do it...!!.. He only lay back and sleep so early in the night... i think he was tired, but it hurts when he go away in this moments, like saying "this annoy me"... i dont know, maybe i am doing more problms about this than the reality...
