Are you still going to the Post session? In our group we were told that each of us was to do a 180 each week (there are suggestions in the book) and the other spouse tries to notice. Sounds like he is not doing any 180's. For us the cumulative effect of the different 180's made all the difference. For example, we never acknowledged hellos and goodbyes. So his 180 was to kiss me goodbye in the morning before he left for work, even though I was sleeping. When I welcomed that it quickly turned in something a little more interesting. And I initiated kissing him hello each night when he returned from work. As you point out, it is the little things that matter. You are completely right that he needs to leave his comfort zone a little bit and move towards you. I recommend dialoguing about it rather than talking.
