I agree a 100% with Bill...and would like to add that maybe you should refrain from the alcohol indulgences when she is indulging...it can cloud things...it can complicate things...my H (when he started making the move home) used alcohol a lot to drown his feelings...but instead it caused them to surface...he would say things like he "loved" me..."wanted" me...but then not remember in the morning...I think it helped him to not feel responsible for his actions...
As for your wife...she is probably trying to "protect" herself by reminding you that things haven't changed...but when liquored up she has feelings that she can't deny...eventually that might need to be faced...I know my H can't drink at all anymore...so I know I have the real deal now...but for now...you need to keep a clear head especially when hers may not be so clear...I know as a woman, I drank to make myself feel good...to free up my inner feelings...sometimes it made me feel I could say things that I didn't necessarily mean but wanted to say to see what reaction I would get...sometimes it gave me the nerve to say what I wanted to say but was afraid to say sober...it is a fine line when you are drinking and trying to deal with a breaking/broken relationship...so one of you needs to keep the thinking clear...and that one is YOU...so as Bill said...MAN UP...watch her actions...and under what circumstances she is acting (alcohol, no alcohol, a little bit, nervous, angry, nonchallant, etc...)...if you need to keep a diary...reflect on it when you are alone...this might help you start to see a pattern and know what to expect later on down the road...
