Beautiful Where- I think you're right, things are changing for me. How are you? I need to check your thread.
Ali- I agree about the nice evenings out- it's more of the same, but I don't really think I have a lot of options other than being patient and focussing on me right now. That should be easy enough to acheive after all this time. I hope you have a great night out tonight. Thanks for popping by!
Beth DB Queen and ITH- how do I feel? if we're talking about the situation with H, I feel resigned and detached. I like seeing him and I still love him. I really enjoy the time we spend together. I've put in a lot of work to get us here, but he has issues to deal with and needs to continue on his own journey. I agree, ITH, that H probably still loves me. He just has to recognise it at some level, and this has got to come from him. In the meantime I'll continue to be patient and enjoy myself. He knows where I am and that I'm here.
How do I feel about CEO vs H? I don't know. I'm more and more susceptible to CEO, but in a way it helps me move on. That's good for me. I'd miss CEO if he wasn't there, but he isn't my H. I guess at the moment I'm OK with the duality of that. There's no immediate likelihood of an R between myself and CEO so I don't think I'd discuss it with H. Even if there was the chance of an R with him, I doubt I'd discuss it with H -I'm sure H would (right now) consider me free to live my life in that he doesn't see me as his W. Any decisions are up to me so I'll have to follow my conscience if/when the time comes.
What have I learned? -patience -not to react immediately -I have enormous control over my emotions -I'm the only one who I can control -there's nothing I can't handle -I'm the only one who will always be with me -love is a decision and I can give it without it being reciprocated -to spend time with my friends more -that peas (or a lack of them) are an extremely important part of a happy M (joke)
Julia, ITH, Beth- I'm glad you liked the kiss. No doubt it'll send H into his cave for weeks now, but always worth something different. H does have delicious lips and he was being gorgeous on Wednesday in general. I haven't tried a kiss since last April so we'll see. I have a feeling something has changed for him (since our anniversary) but I'm not sure what it is, so I think the best strategy is to do nothing for now and see what happens.
(joke)
