Man, do I feel like a jerk. All my talk this week about how things feel good, my wife acting like things are progressing, me getting the good vibes from her that I have not felt in a while.....and bam.
What do I get last night?
"You know H, you have told me when the subject has come up, that you don't need reminders...but you seem to be acting like everything is OK, and I just want you to know that nothing has changed".
This came at the very end of the night, after a nice dinner that she made. We decided to stay home and have some drinks, and the 2 of us ended up getting pretty buzzed, hanging out, chatting and watching some TV....things progressed to kissing and holding and that was when she said "we have to talk"....this was on the way to the bedroom.
I get the speech in the middle of it while we are in bed....I don't give much of a response other than to tell her again, I don't need reminders, she talked again about my changes not being real.
This is all while we are in bed, kissing and getting ready to ML...both of us a little drunk, and that was about it..don't really remember how the conversation ended. Guess I didn't say anything too off the wall, because we were talking as we are kissing and proceed to have a hot steamy ML session.
Does that make any sense at all??
Didn't think much about it after that as we went off to sleep, but I woke up this morning pretty pissed about the whole deal...angry actually. More anger this morning than I think I have felt through all of this.
I am the one that is acting like everything is OK? She's not? She is acting like this and letting things go because I have told her that I don't need reminders about the sitch?
After all this the past 6 months, that's the story...she is just plugging away, having a good time and letting us enjoy ourselves together and all along, doesn't bring it up because I have asked her not to remind me about the sitch???
She has taken me at my word from the beginning...that I understand what she wants...I don't want it, but won't fight her, and when the time comes...I will leave??....and that's where we still stand after 6 months of this??
We have been here before over the months, and I said myself it was bound to happen again, but I didn't see it coming this time. She has just been so close and relaxed this past month that I really thought there was a change.
That just makes me truly wonder if things are ever really going to progress past this point. It has just been basically the same deal for 6 months now....her acting like things are, or could be OK and us being this happy fun loving couple...and all along her position has not changed. That's pretty disheartening. Especially after what was going on the last couple of weeks.
