Looking at your other threads I would say your H can't look at you because he doesn't want to see you. If he really looked at you he would have to see YOU- the person you are-and then he might crumble and break his resolve - and actually treat you as a person.
To be honest, I am really shocked at your H's treatment of you and if I were in your shoes I would put some distance between you.
What you did, having an A, WAS hurtful. I have been on the receiving end of that so I know what it's like. If he really wanted your M to work though he wouldn't be like this. IMO he is just punishing you and trying to humiliate you for the hurt you have caused him; not a good reason at all to remain in a M.
I personally believe you have a better chance of saving your M if you try kicking him to the curb until he gives you some repect. You say on your other thread that historically you had trouble saying no to people. Well stand up to your H and say no to him. He is acting no better than the person who abused you when you were small. I also think that he is putting up such a front of hatred to protect himself. If he opens up to you in a 'soft' manner you may hurt him and he is scared of that. Also you have injured his pride. I think if you stood up to him his resolve may falter.
Having an A is a hurtful thing to do to one's S....but it doesn't make you deserving of this behaviour.
((((HUGS))))))
You are worth so much more than this. You are trying to do the right thing and he is punishing you. I would liken it to training a pet. When a puppy runs away from it's owner it makes the owner mad. However, when the puppy comes back, if you beat it for misbehaving, why would it want to come back to you in the future for further beatings. Even though it might feel like the wrong thing....one bites one's tongue and treats the puppy with kindness so that it wants to come back in the future. You learn not to let the puppy run free until it knows better and you give it firm, kind consistent care.....but continually beat it? NO
Your H has some major problems and needs professional help.
Sometimes you know, a person can't forgive another. Do you want to spend the rest of your life like this?
Saffie me 46 H 46 M in 1986 D20,D18,S16,D13 H's A 01/05 to 07/06 H recommitted to M 07/06 renewed vows 09/06 Going from strength to strength
