I believe in Miracles

[istherehope]

Hi Ali,

Nice to hear from you :). There sure has been some drama on your thread, and sorry if I contributed to that in any way!

Jody doesn't know that I am seeing H next week. In fact she had suggested that I not tell him at all that I was going to Spain in order to make him wonder. However, I had to as we are sharing finances, and if I suddenly spent 200E on a hotel, it would be very disrespectful. I also had a real gut instinct to tell him about it. It was something I KNEW I had to do... As soon as I told him, he offered for me to stay. So the 2 nights are not consecutive, which in a way might be a good thing. I get there Monday, and then go to Spain, and come back on Thursday. My hope is that Monday goes really well, and that if there is a talk at all it's on Thursday with the positives taken into account. I am open to a talk. I just would rather not have one if it's only spew and negativity.

I am planning something sort of radical, and I may get a 2X4 here for it, but I THINK I want to do it. Not sure if you saw this in a previous post, but H is someone who converted to Judaism and never saw me (rightly) as supportive. I am now trying a lot harder to be supportive, and already sent an email for Jewish New Year that went over very well. Now next week Thursday is Yom Kippur, the day of atonement. During the 10 days before this, you are supposed to apologize to people who you've wronged, and express true regret. I was thinking of sending him a very short email (about 150 words) on Wednesday, in relation to this custom, telling him that I take responsibility for and regret the problems in the relationship, mentioning 2 keys ones that I haven't yet apologized for, and asking for forgiveness. This is totally keeping in line with tradition (from what I understand), and I am not asking for a response or anything. It may or may not have any impact, but I actually am sorry, I don't want HIM to keep feeling guilty, and he DOES blame me a lot so on 3 fronts I think it could be a good gesture. The risk is that by sending it on Wednesday, it may hang over our heads on Thursday night.

Oh and about my friend and his ex, it's too bad I don't know her as I'd LOVE to share all of this insight with her...well for the moment at least we have a window into a very open WA man. He tells me anything I want to know, and is willing to answer any questions I ask...

ITH