It was not as she expected. The Offense Petition was adjourned until 11/10. My lawyer will be making motion to dismiss. The Court also refused her atty's request for an order of protection. Lastly, the Court appt. a law guardian for the kids. who is an older man in his 50's. It remains to be seen how he will evaluate the case....but it certainly was not a younger woman that my W was looking for. Overall, I successfully dodged all bullets.
My wife was upset that nothing substantial happened yesterday. Actually, it was to her negative as I am essentially reamining in the house and a LG will be meeting with the children, The truth will be more than satisfactory. She is concerned that I am going to seek sole custody.
She was also upset that it appeared we had an advantage due to me being an atty, my lawyers relationships at the Court as well as my mom's relationships (he is a retired divorce atty after 30 years). Maybe so, but the first attempt by her was certainly deflected nicely.
I have the children all weekend. I came home to a house that was utter mess. The water delever from Poland Springs was still in the driveway, the groceries that she bought the day before was still in the bags in the middle of the garage, the garbage in the house was not collected nor were the pails moved to the curb, the toilet in the children's bathroom was disgustiting and had to be cleaned and the garage is still a mess for over 6 weeks from the children's stuff from camp. (the LR and kitchen as well as the kids room have things strewn all over the place). My wife is certainly not focused on family and home.
I gave them baths and got them to bed. I also cleaned up all the stuff above. More importnatly, my W texted me that she was not coming home. I do not care that she goes out and has fun as this is my weeked, but the kids are still young and I did not want to stay in the marital bedroom eventhough she was not coming home. Well.... my 4 year old got up in the middle of the night and freaked out looking for her as did my 7 year old. I came up from the basement and it took an hour to calm them down. They stayed with me for the rest of the night. I woill discuss with her me staying in the bedroom when she is out for the night.,...
She has the right to stay out and do what she wants, but I think due to the current situation and stresses at home, she used poor judgment. I have had the same opportunity to stay out at night, but always have come home. I want to be there in the AM when they wake up looking for me. I know it wont be forever once we finally relocate, but in the meantime and during this critical juncture, I really want to be there for the kids. My W is also going alway in two weeks to VA to supposedly visist her aunt and uncle. The OM is from NC and is a few hours away. Again, bad choice on her part. (I have my nephew's Bar Mitzvah that weekend and have family coming in. My wife is uncomfortable around them.)
I am having those feeling of missing my W--which I try to put out of mind. Its hard as I keep thinking about what I could have done differenty to save the amrriage. After contemplation as well as conversations with a couple of close friends, it appears nothing I would have done or could do, would have changed the result.
I have passed Stage one and detached. I am trying to maintain a coordial relationship with W, but she is always angry, defensive and trying bait me to get upset. She is concerned that she will lose primary custody of the kids. My lawyer discussed our future and I asserted that the house must be sold. We can each take the money and go our separate ways. I could afford to get a new more modest home in Town. My wife will have extreme difficulty as he must buy a small place if possible, or rent. In either event, its agood possibility that the kids would remain with me. My W wants to move the kids to a more inexpensive locale out of state. (NC??) I vetoed that immediately. We are at an impasse at this point.
I will now be super dad this weekend. Looking foward to it, but I am exhausted after working a 80 hour work week as well as dealing with all the other familial pressures. The only thing keeping me going is the kids and the fact that I am still running daily.....23 lbs lost and counting. I have GAL, my job move positively and focusing on kids.
I do not know what next week will bring, but i hope for less pain and a direction for the family. I hand dreams of my W last night that were uncomfortable. I do not know how reconcilliation would ever work, nor would I even want to consider it after the recent events.
