8 weeks ago I got the shock of my life when my wife told me she wanted a divorce, was willing to walk away with nothing and even sign the house over to me and leave our three sons here with me (ages 14, 11 & 8) I am 100% disabled due to spinal problems. Neck has had 3 surgeries and lower back one. I am likely due for another lumbar surgery and will know for sure when I see the surgeon in a few weeks.
She told me I was too wrapped up in my world of self pity and that she had no desire for me at all. Hadn't in 7 to 10 years.
My 1st reaction was to accept all the blame until I read Divorce Busting.
There I had my eyes opened to the fact my disabilities were only part of the problem. My loss of self respect, my losss of wanting to try was also part due to years of ever increasing rejection from her.
My wife who I do love is not the type to talk about problems. She internalizes everything and it finally came to the explosion point. She is now in counseling as I have been for 8 years. Making little progress from what she tells me (both of us).
I will share a story I wrote in my next post that I hope sheds some light on me, my feelings and where she is presently. Behind that brick wall.
I have over these past 7 or 8 weeks changed considerably, which she tells me scares her and causes mistrust. Go figure.... I've even put my physical pain aside, started walking and exercising. I am now walking 6 to 10 miles per day with 2 ruptured lumbar discs (honestly!) and have dropped weight from 236 to my present 196 and I only started 4 weeks ago. I'm lifting weights (just had anterior and posterior cervical fusion in May) and my strength is improving considerably.
Well, that's enough for my opening statement. MMy short story to follow.
