SPM - your replies above were the best thing I have read in a long long long time. Just magic..
Ok I think i have this stuff right:
1. When he wants heart to heart - be supportive, contrite, sorry and understanding.
2. Accept every oppotunity to build a happy memory.
3.Do not be needy.
4. GAL and if thats to hard, fake it.
I have done all of the above and seen small bits of hope only to shoot myself in the foot later on.
I think that when he coins the phrase ripped off, he really means cheated. I cannot imagine nor come to grips that I am not married to this man any more. I think my big problem is, that i have always had control, I have always manipulated this man, he has done everything I ever wanted, in his own words he says his love for me was priceless. Nothing on this earth meant as much as me.
I struggled being on this pedestal.
Did you have your wife here ? Is that why we stray ? Pressure to much !
I am no longer on that pedestal and as much as I miss the love , I enjoy having respect for him now. His coldness and distance has made me respect him and consequently I am a better person.
