Yes..it's funny how they built up over the last few weeks. What's really strange is that it was since the camping trip that it started to really change. Then that night I went out and she didn't know where I was, and came home quite drunk.
I know that I need to be ready for her to pull back, or a reminder, but my hope is that she is looking at the sitch, and me, from a slightly different perspective now. We are exactly 6 months into this and I have been very consistent in my behavior towards her.
The few R talks that came up over the months always had the same theme...her thinking that everything I was doing was just to please her and that she could not trust me again.
What I do now, how I act and my attitude has become a part of me, and I think she is starting to accept that, even if she is not ready to commit to working on the marriage.
She has mentioned to SIL how I was in the beginning of our relationship and after we got married....."awesome" were her words. IMO, I think I have been a better friend, husband and person in general than I was even back then, and have no intention of ever letting her down, regardless of where this goes.
You know, there were so many times over the years when things were just not good between us that I wondered if we wouldn't both be better off apart. Then the bomb came and although I wanted to fight for the marriage, I thought eventually those thoughts would win out...I would let her go, allow her to be happy and we would go our separate ways.
Instead, as the months have gone by, I realized just how much I truly love her and want her in my life.....the thoughts of giving in and giving up were fleeting.
