Trying2live- the new post 1

[Trying2live]

Don't feel guilty. In this case it's false guilt. Cast that right off. It's hard to know what to think or feel because of the alien invasion of our H's bodies. A friend said to me, if you argue or reason with a mad man what does that make you.

When they commit these acts they justify everything and re-write the history, so stop explaining. Even if there were a hundred great times all they will see if the other 5 bad times. Find out if you had any part in the break down(that does not mean in any way shape or form it makes it okay or is your fault at all).

Find out who you are now and learn confidence in you. That's what I'm fighting for and learning. To be okay just lil old me and the kids. I cannot and refuse to only be happy and confident if my H is at my side. so ya know what if he comes back I know it will be a lot sweeter because I, and you, will have grown.

The bible says a soft answer turns away wrath. Find something to casually say for the missing the texts. It's not a big deal that he is making a big deal, but you cannot, and none of us right, expect any amount of normalcy and rational thinking. They are in the alien fog. The faster you learn this the faster you move through these things that seem like set backs but really are opportunities to grow. Maybe say Oh gosh my battery died or somehow the ringer was turned off, I would have answered if I knew it had meant that much to you and casually walk off and act indifferent, confident, cheerful and cool. That's confidence. Sometimes the more we explain, we think it's caring, but they see it as insecure and that's unattractive.

I'm an explainer so I really have to work on it. I can explain forever and my H is like okay bare facts please. That's why completing the questionnaire in his place is super important to see what is important to HIM. I was also told about the 5 languages of Love by Gary Chapman. A friend said if you are trying to love him through admiration but he needs it through physical contact or gifts of love then we can miss the mark because we love them the way we want to be loved and not the way they need their loves needs met.

Well ladies and gents, who knew there was so much we, at least for me didn't have in my repertoire and tool box for marriage. There's so much to learn.
I'll pop in and out all day. H is going to be here this evening. Gonna pray up get focused on my target and be myself(Lord help me) but I'm done being intimidated. Done, done, done.
XOXO