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#1610833 10/02/08 10:48 PM
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As I start most of my threads, I want to thank all the people who take time out of their own drama and troubled times to console and advise me. I always need some hard slaps in the face when I start letting my wife control me.

I basically stopped all contact with W. She will ask what's wrong or how I am so I don't respond. She tries telling me where she goes and who with but I told her I don't need to know nor do I care - not her buddy, friend, acquaintance etc.

I am able to do this now because basically I can't stand her and don't want her back. She broke her marriage vows to screw some fugly who knocked her up and bailed on her. Im Not her savior or her rescuer; nor her adviser, housekeeper, therapist or anything similar. I deserve better. Let some other guy get his life messed up by her, not me


M 31 W 26
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hugs, I cant imagine how hard this is on you, its one of my worst nitemares with H and ow.

I dont know how you can be so strong, I seem to have a weakness issue, even tho i know i shouldnt!
hang in there!


M 36
XH 34
3 children
If a house is divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand. Mark 3:25
"your mood swings are giving me whiplash" twilight
ALIVE FREE AND HAPPY 2010

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oh i have a major weakness issue too. that's why it took almost 4 months to get this way


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BC,

You are entitled to your space and time for yourself. I think at this point you need time away from her to focus on yourself and healing. You need to do what is best for you at this time. Make an appointment to see a therapist if you haven't done so already. Just to have someone to talk with will help you get all this out and heal.


There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
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need advice.....went dark on my wife for a week. Told her it was over. For months my wife has wanted nothing to do with me.....after telling her yesterday it was truly over and to not come back, she texts me last night and invites me over to hang out. Says she doesn't know if she wants to get back together. Says she screwed up big time and realized it's pretty rare for someone to change completely because they love someone so much (me).

I went over and put our son to bed and just watched tv.

Why is it that after I gave up, she might want me back ? What to do ?


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All you need is love
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^^^^^^^^^^


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Quote:
Why is it that after I gave up, she might want me back ? What to do ?


Maybe she realized what she lost. Did she seem sincere to you?

When I talked to my W sat night there was a big change in her. Hard to explain, but easy to notice. Now we are going to try and work it out. Last couple weeks I was in the D mode and ready to move on with my life. Now, I am just trying to start looking at a life with my W again. I'll post later what made the turn around on my W.

Last edited by yenko69; 10/06/08 10:20 AM.

A warrior does not give up on what he loves, he finds the love in what he does

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Originally Posted By: badcompany
need advice.....went dark on my wife for a week. Told her it was over. For months my wife has wanted nothing to do with me.....after telling her yesterday it was truly over and to not come back, she texts me last night and invites me over to hang out. Says she doesn't know if she wants to get back together. Says she screwed up big time and realized it's pretty rare for someone to change completely because they love someone so much (me).

I went over and put our son to bed and just watched tv.

Why is it that after I gave up, she might want me back ? What to do ?


DON'T RESCUE HER. What she is experiencing for one week, she needs to feel for SEVERAL MONTHS. She needs a cake fix, and so she's asking you to bring her some.

Let her think -- this is good for her. Did you go over there and watch TV together with her?

Puppy

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She's been very sincere. Offering to have me over for dinner and such.

Have turned down multiple offers. Told her she needs time to herself to think.

Finally after 4 months I have gotten the formal apologies for hurting me, not just apologies for screwing her life up


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Bad,

This is just my opinion, but keep in mind I've seen more than a few of these, and also lived thru one. I don't think there's ANYTHING "sincere" about her right now, other than she's "sincerely sorry" that it's not going her way right now.

Only you can tell for sure, but this just reeks of "false start" to me.

Puppy

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