It was a really, really good day. I am back in this game 100%!
My IC counseling session went really well. I like the counselor and it was basically just an unload of my life story in a nut shell and a bunch of paperwork. It was good though. I kept wondering why the session felt so long but I realized it was because I didn't have to share the time with hubby like in MC! Hehe. I'm going back next Thursday. One thing that we did talk about and I think I am straightened out on now is this whole family issue. She told me that when I say negative things about his family it is pointing out to him that he did not have good parents and that is like stabbing him in the heart so even though I am not going to have a relationship with them and do not have to personally like them I need to show compassion for my hubby and understand that it is built in to him, as a human, to want love and acceptance from his parents even though they are awfule people. I have a hard time understanding this concept but that is because my parents are so good to me. I just get protective of my hubby and see how much damage his parents have done/do to him and start to hate them for that. But I need to let it go and show compassion to my hubby and let him discover on his own who they are and let him decide (without my imput) the place he wants to give them in his life. I know that might sound very basic but it really clicked in my brain.
I gave her the sheet with all the lists on it at the end of the session and that is what we are going to tackle next week.
One interesting question was on a scale of one to ten how much do you want this relationship to work out. I gave it an 8 and when she asked where I thought my hubby was I said probably a 6 as he is really confused but deep down I know he loves me and does not want to lose me.
Interesting. . .
After my session I had to run to the grocery store to get the stuff to make for dinner. While I was there hubby texted me "aww, not here?" Which I thought was adorable. I said I was looking for bread crumbs and he was like "well hurry up!" Lol. So impatient.
So I got there and took everything inside. Things were kinda awkward at first since we hadn't seen each other in so long so we played with the cats and talked for awhile. When I asked him what he wanted to do since it was raining and we couldn't wash our cars as planned he was like "I don't know. Make out. Have sex." Lol. Men. . .such simple creatures. So that's what we did
Then we went to lunch and had a really good friendly conversation. He was just telling me about his living situation and job situation. It feels good knowing that he is opening up to me again and talking about stuff in his life. A good sign.
We went to the movie store and rented a movie to watch later and just kinda wandered around and looked at stuff, he was mostly checking out the games. Again men. . . But when I would wander off he would come after me, he did that a few times actually. Normally he doesn't care if I wander around on my own but yesterday he kinda followed me. Weird. Mr. Independent my toe!
We went back to the house and he watched part of a movie on tv and I tried to stay awake but had been up since 5am and fell asleep in his lap which was nice. He was very cuddly on the couch. When I got up I cleaned the kitchen and he kept trying to pull me away to come check out stuff on the computer which was funny he was like competing for my attention so I gave him ten minutes and then went and made dinner. He downloaded a few things that I wanted. I made dinner. We watched the movie and ate dinner. Nothing exciting but it was so nice because we were joking around and smiling at each other, lots of cuddling and playing around. It was really really nice. I missed him even more than I thought I did.
I made him watch survivor and he was like "I could do that, I'd be better at that, etc" and normally I would have been like "I'm sure it's harder than it looks, it's probably really hard to do, etc" but last night I did a baby 180 and just said "Yeah you could! You should go on there because you'd win!" He looked at me kinda funny. Lol. Like surprised that I would say that.
After the show we were just hanging out and talking about stuff, a lot about the army situation which is good but still terribly up in the air right now. Which makes me a little insane but I'm trying to not let it get to me too much.
We ML again and then he stayed with me for another half an hour or so and we cuddled and talked about the day and how good it was because we didn't argue. I was exhausted at this point for being up for over 18 hours and was getting a little cranky and we did not have an argument but got kinda irratated for a few minutes but he stayed longer and finally left even though I didn't want him to go. . .
But we will see each other soon. Probably middle of next week and then for sure next Saturday because we are going to the corn maze! So as I predicted. . .once we saw each other again and had a good day together we will get in the pattern of seeing each other more regularly and things will be going back uphill.
