Of course she doesn't want to eat around you - she has an eating disorder! If she eats in front of you, her aberrant eating patterns - or lack of eating altogether - becomes apparent.
If she eats in front of W instead of you,. it my be because she can pull the wool over W's eyes more easily - hiding food on her plate, going into the kitchen to "get something" and spitting out a mouthful of food in the sink, etc. etc.
I had the best luck with my D's refeeding by employing a few tricks:
- eating out in restaurants. I know many anorexics are too self-conscious to do this, but my D wasn't. Restaurants are DESIGNED to make you overeat - lighting, colors,etc.
- distraction during meals - by keeping dinner-table conversation lively, D didn't feel like she was under a microscope with us staring at every bite (although I did watch very surreptitiously). D would also be distracted and not realize how much she was eating.
- putting food in serving bowls instead of portions on plates. If you take "just a little" from a serving bowl, eat it, then get some more - you have no idea at the end of the meal how much you've eaten. If you're served a big plate, the anorexic will start to panic once they see they've eaten half, or whatever.
Note - all these tips are for anorexics who are restricting their calories. Pure bulimics, who overeat and purge but do not restrict, would require different tools.
