Trying2live- the new post 1

[twinhope]

T2L, I am glad your plan is starting off well. I received the book the other day and I am almost done with it. I feel that I have doing a version of Plan A for months now. I have done pretty well DB and asking him to do things, sending texts, offering my friendship. It has been so hard b/c he has not accepting doing anything and I have offered more times with our D's and he always has plans. I feel that according to the book I have to move to Plan B. He is really attached to her and is choosing her over me and our girls all the time. I prayed to God the other night to give me a sign that I should go ahead with Plan B. The next morning I dropped my girls off at daycare and my daycare provider told me that she was really concerned for my H. She thinks that he looks very depressed and it has been getting worse. She then told me that he brought the OW to pick up the girls 2wks ago. I saw this as my sign that he just really does not care about my feelings and that he is cake eating. When he sees me he tells me I look good, gives me long hugs with rubbing of the back, when he does not hear from me he calls to make sure I am ok. He is throwing me bones. He thinks I am ok with his A and that we can be best of friends. His C has told him it can't happen and he really needs to stop giving me hugs it is just inappropriate.

A bad situation happened yesterday and I wanted to see what you all thought. I had tried to call him to talk about the girls and he did not answer. He called me back 1/2hr. later and left a message I was outside with the girls. He then called to say goodnight to the girls and I missed his call. I called him back and he did not answer so I left him a quick message. It was really no big deal. He then tried to call me on my cell and home phone the next day and left no message. Then he called again an 1hr later and I was at my neighbors house. He left a message and sounded frustrated that he could not get a hold of me and wanted to know what I called him for. I got tied up and was not able to call him back. He then called again at after lunch and left the most depressed message about how our D's doctor called and needed a urine sample and wanted me to make sure that the message was not old. He sounded terrible! I then texted him back that the message was old and that it was from July and that our D was ok. 2 minutes later this is what I got from him on text:

H: Okay well they are going to charge us for non compliance if they don't get one. So what gives on being able to get a hold of you. What did you need last night?
I did not respond yet:
8mins later:
H: Whatever. You called me. Stop the game. I have tried to call five times since I got your message and your going to act like your not going to give me the time of day unless it has to do with the girls..Fine with me. Stop acting like a child.
2mins later:
H:The more you stress me out with these little stunts the worse its going to be for you not me.

I finally got a chance to respond and I wrote:
Me: I am sorry that you feel that way. I am getting my nails done. It was nothing important. I have been busy today.

I have no idea what to think of this. I really did nothing. I think he is just so upset that he can't control me. Just b/c I had not been able to call him back he flipped a lid. I don't know if I should move forward with Plan B. It is obvious how he acts when he can't get a hold of me. I need some advice. You all seem to making steps in a good direction.

Hope, I know it is difficult, I know that it doesn't feel like it now but it does get easier. Keep strong and keep your changes up and your H will notice. This time will allow you to get even stronger and be ever so attractive to your H.

TxMom, I had a night like that with my H back in July. He showed remorse, emotion, we kissed, hugged. It was like he returned for a moment. But he has not done it since. I do think it is a good sign. Use that as your motivation to keep going. He is confused and totally addicted to the OW and can't see anything else. He needs that fix to stay happy. All of our H's R with the OW will die out. They have to. They are built on lies and being dishonest.