God give me the patience and the strength...7

[theotherhalf]

an2m,

I guess I just have been so afraid that if I leave him alone to go this "journey" alone, that he'll just settle for what is and we will lose it all. H has never been one to take the bull by the horns. He is the one that got us to where we are today (well before MLC) but I am the one that led us. Do you get what I am saying? H is too "it is what it is". He has said many times "just cut your losses and move one". That is what I am afraid he'll do if I let him do this alone. He has no clue what he is going through. Won't even try to figure out what it is.

BUT, he did find the "balls" to up and leave me. I NEVER EVER thought he'd ever do that. For ANY reason. So maybe just maybe he's changed. Maybe I don't know him as much as I think I do. And no matter. I CAN'T do this anymore. I CAN'T live like this.
I CAN'T make him see, no matter how hard I try.

So I have to give this damb mess and my H up to God and pray for the best. I have to trust my faith and believe that it will all work out in the end. And if that future is to be without my H, then I guess it's not for me to decide.