I have been keeping a journal, but have not put as much effort into it the past few weeks. Have to get dilligant. One of the problems was that I hid it when my H came over, and need to put it back by my bedside. I was doing well while I was very focused on my little goals. Thanks for nudging me in the right direction.
I am very wary of the family thing. I think I will sit back for a good long time again. I am not looking to initiate contact- and have told them that. I agree that they should always be there for him first.
One of the things my H seemed to dislike at the end (or hate) was that I was a planner. I have been very organized and focused, made things happen in my life. Which is why it is so hard to not try to put a schedule/timeline on things.
But- he is in his last year of prof. school and very stressed just with that. He's putting in long hours, has to worry about national boards, applying for jobs, etc in the next few months. This is the worst time to have our marriage be in this state. An awful time too for me to ask him to find time to work on 'us' or make decisions about our R.
I was thinking a 180 would be to see if he would be willing to not make ANY decisions about us at all for the next few months. Just worry about himself, getting through school, boards, etc. Ask him to take care of himself first and worry about us later.
I would rather he delay making a decision than feel like he needed to make one during a time when he wasn't able to really think straight. And make one he would regret once those hurdles were past.
This is the first plan that actually strikes me as having potential merit.
And it makes it about his needs instead of mine (180 again).
Me-36 H-30 T-7yr, M-3yr DivorceBusting Saved my marriage! sep 6-08 to 12-08. Together again, things are good!
