I guess it's over

[NikB]

He said he hated the thought of letting me go.

Well... you hate the thought of not being married to him. So he can suck it up and deal with it, if he's not going to commit to you.

You know what really breaks my heart? I was starting to struggle with my thyroid and at the time did not fully appreciate his love for me. And now I don't have it.

I know exactly what you mean. I think H probably started losing his love for me around the time my leg broke and I got very, very depressed (I didn't want to live with me.. why would anyone else???). I'm sorry, I know how much it hurts.

If he calls up and wants to be chummy- what do I say?

Personally.. until you're stronger.. I wouldn't answer. Let it go to voicemail. If it's "business" call him back. If not, email or text him and tell him it's too painful for you to be "just friends" with him and you'll need to discuss business matters only. He may get pi$$ed.. you're taking away his cake. Too damn bad. The other alternative is if he does call, go ahead and answer, but have a "script" ready telling him what I said - it's too painful right now to be "just friends" and you need to keep it business only. After that, don't answer - let it go to VM and only call back if needed.

Be cordial but not friendly, eager, interested in his life. Talk to him like you talk to that neighbor that you see sometimes and you don't DISlike but you don't really want to be friends with, either.

((((Trixi))))

Start planning that road trip. It'll help you feel better to focus on something fun just for you! And this is a GREAT time to go - all the fall colors should be just starting to come out.