I guess it's over

[Trixi]

Thanks so much you guys.
I'm feeling pretty low. Confused. Hurt. Scared. Sick.

If you feel like a road trip, come on down to the Oregon coast!

Actually, that sounds VERY appealing. VERY! I love the Oregon coast. I had wanted to go to Crater Lake or Sun River this summer, but I never made it. Yeah, I need a road trip. Which part of the coast are you on?

GIVEN where he is at, what do you want? Do you want him as a friend? Can you handle that? I know that I, personally, couldn't. I could be polite and cordial, but not a friend.

No way. When he said something about being friends last night I said "I don't see you as a "{friends nickname}". I already have plenty of guy friends." He said he hated the thought of letting me go.

I pointed out that there are lots of marriages out there that are lacking one or both of what he says we have. (Friendship and great sex life). Heh- I guess that's what a F-buddy is. pffft.

He said he would do anything for me. I said "yeah, except live with me and actually commit."

He said that he had hoped to recapture what he felt for me early on in our marriage, but that he must have just been on the path to being single for too long. You know what really breaks my heart? I was starting to struggle with my thyroid and at the time did not fully appreciate his love for me. And now I don't have it.

I'm going to be going to the dentist and doctor to get everything caught up, because if we divorce, I have no insurance.

I don't plan to be in contact with him; at this point, it won't matter to him if I go dark, because he is obviously detached from me. I don't plan to file since this isn't what I want.

If he calls up and wants to be chummy- what do I say?