Had a quick $150 (20 minutes!) appt with the attorney today. Had to sign something with both of us present.
We rode together as we had both just had a meeting at D4's school. H initiated talk on the way back about how much 'this' sucks. He continued on to list what sucks about it: less time with the girls, nowhere to live, getting the older car, etc. Funny, he never once mentioned me in that list of losses. Sigh. I shouldn't expect it, but darnit. He did say "I can't believe I am here, taking this path. It blows my mind." I said nothing, because its his choice.
H is right now at his court mandated parenting class (I go on Saturday). He still holds firm with his "the girls will be fine" argument.
Two weeks from today I'll be on the market.
I miss him. Old him. Oh but at least the New Him is following my boundaries this week. Wow.
Had a quick $150 (20 minutes!) appt with the attorney today.
Ugh, I know how you feel. It's like when I get an invoice from my ATTY and see that he charged me $125 (30 minutes) for sending a letter to H or to me that I know took him no more than 5 minutes to complete!
But what can we do, ya know?!
Quote:
We rode together as we had both just had a meeting at D4's school. H initiated talk on the way back about how much 'this' sucks. He continued on to list what sucks about it: less time with the girls, nowhere to live, getting the older car, etc. Funny, he never once mentioned me in that list of losses. Sigh. I shouldn't expect it, but darnit. He did say "I can't believe I am here, taking this path. It blows my mind." I said nothing, because its his choice.
Sounds soooo familiar. They go down the list of what they're going to miss, and it hurts something terrible when you're nowhere in there. Tough one to swallow.
But yes, this is his choice, and he will have to deal with the consequences.
Quote:
H is right now at his court mandated parenting class (I go on Saturday). He still holds firm with his "the girls will be fine" argument.
It's what he has to tell himself in order to lessen the guilt he feels. Makes it easier for him to go through with this.
Quote:
I miss him. Old him. Oh but at least the New Him is following my boundaries this week. Wow.
I am glad to hear he's doing this. How does it make you feel?
Hang in there, sweetie.
(((((lwb)))))
Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward. ~ Joseph Campbell
lwb: I walked around for at least 5 years thinking "I can't believe this is happening to me". Ex said the same thing "The kids will bounce back". Nothing could be further from the truth. Take some comfort in the fact that your kids are young. In my experience - it seems to be harder when they are teens as mine were. But that is just my perspective.
My ex said up until the end "I never wanted a divorce". Ahem - so that is why he ran around, cheated and lied. Moved in with maggot. Never looked back. No - he should have said "I never wanted to PAY for a divorce". I filed. I paid for the divorce. In hindsite - it was the best gift I could have given myself.
When this is behind you - you will realize how freeing it is to be yourself. Be the sole parent at home (yes, it CAN be a gift) and to answer to no one. I love it!
I can't count how many times I've heard this line. I used to think "oh, he must be really sad.. maybe he really cares and wants to come back". Now, I just think ... Yup ... it suck to have to split up D5's time.. Funny how that changes..
I'm right there with you, lwb... except my divorce will NEVER be final!
x and I tried to attend the parenting thing at the same time - WHAT a mistake. I listened to the first half of the session about all of the effects on the kids, using every bit of strength I had to not start balling right there in the room...
At the break, he walks outside with me and says "Isn't there a lot of great information in this?" I couldn't believe it - we were in the same room, listening to the same info, and heard two completely different messages. The mental gymnastics they can do still astound me.
I went over to the workshop leader and told her I had to leave and take the class another day. I didn't even stop and tell him why, just got my things and left.
lwb, I cant even imagine how much strength it took to ride over with your H to the attorny's office. I deff could not do that. Wow. And the line about how it all sucks....well it should! He is the one who wanted this so it should REALLY suck for him. I just dont get why they are willing to put the entire family through h3ll just so they can chase the fantasy of happiness elsewhere. EVERY relationship has problems, EVERY relationship has ups and downs. They will just be trading in one set of crap for another when they move on. In time, they will see that and bail from that R as well. We are the lucky ones. We are the ones that have grown and changed and would climb the highest Mt. to make a R work. We know what to do in our next R and it will be better because of it. They will just continue their broken cycle.
Broken Hearted ------------------ Me - 36 H - 37 S - 8 Married - 1992 ILYNILWY - August 2007 Moved Out - March 2008 OW Revieled - May 28, 2008 Filed for D - July 2, 2008
