well here we are....missing H more than ever...probably because I spent most of yesterday with him....D16 had tonsils out yesterday....went well but she's a hurtin pup today.....we got home about 10 am so I went to the grocery to get her food and meds...H stayed at home with her....when I got home he had fixed the sweeper....cut the grass and started straightening up the house....when I got home I acted as though I didn't notice the grass and about an hour later I said, "hey, did you cut the grass"...he said yes...I just said thanks....
But when we were waiting on D at the hospital it was like we were never apart....the 3 of us were talking and laughing...laughing so hard my D spit water out....too funny....when we were at home H and I chatted just like normal...he went and picked up son at school...I fed everyone and then H left....then I started missing him.....gosh why can't he just see what I see...why doesnt he realize we belong together...that we ARE a happy family......I just don't get it....and I know.....I won't....
H texted last night to see how she was and then told me what was going on at his work...I just said WOW!... then that was it...nothing today but son has baseball so I know he will be at the house to pick him up.....
Treese
H 49 M 45 D 23, D17, S12 M 25 T 31 01/07 OW H at my door w/proof Bomb ILYBINILWY 06/07 Sep 01/08 headed for the greener grass, Mar08.B#2H has child who is 9 11/08 pos.paternity
Glad the surgery is finally over. I remember when I had my tonsils out in 1975. I was not in much pain at all but when those scabs start to come off, yuck!!
The extraction of my wisdom teeth was much worse for me. I was called "Chipmunk Cheeks" my senior year of high school back in 1977-78 for a few months!
About your husband. You will notice that one day he is fine, the next day he is down, one day nice, the next day irritable. Get used to it but try and treat him the same at all times even though that can be hard to do.
Have zero expectations.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
I hope your D is feeling better soon! I am glad your h was there for you yesterday. Just hang in there because you know they don't know and can't see what we do.
I know they don't see what we do....I can always hope someday he will.....He dropped son off a little while ago, came in and made a sandwich with son....ate and he left....told D bye that he had to go to work...never has said that before...usually just says bye....weird....like he was just going to work and he'd be back later kind of thing...I know that's not what he meant but weird....
I feel so bad for Jen.....the loss of her H.....it truly hits you....Life is so precious.....
May God Bless you all......
Treese
Treese
H 49 M 45 D 23, D17, S12 M 25 T 31 01/07 OW H at my door w/proof Bomb ILYBINILWY 06/07 Sep 01/08 headed for the greener grass, Mar08.B#2H has child who is 9 11/08 pos.paternity
I used to tell my h not to take anything for granted because you don't know when God will call you home. I fell for Jen too. What an awful thing to happen.
H 49 M 45 D 23, D17, S12 M 25 T 31 01/07 OW H at my door w/proof Bomb ILYBINILWY 06/07 Sep 01/08 headed for the greener grass, Mar08.B#2H has child who is 9 11/08 pos.paternity
Posted this on YR's thread but thought I'd put it on mine also...
Today I sat at work thinking....and thinking way too much I might add.Why do I miss him so bad....and then I get angry...angry at what he's left behind....I love him doesnt he know that....I would do anything for him...ANYTHING....why would someone want to give that up...but I guess all fairy tales don't end in happiness....HHHHUUUHHHHH........I'm crying right now...I thought I was getting stronger...I thought I was living....trying to move on without H....but it sneaks up on you like a cold and settles in...then boom....you are sad all over again....I have knots in my stomach...thinking that I may never be close to him again...that I may never make love to him again...and then the text from D16 came...
My D16...still recovering from surgery...texted me today and said she missed our family and missed her dad....I was crushed all over again....I apologized to her again...told her I missed dad and our family also....that I still loved her dad....and here is what she told me...let me tell you she is so SMART!!
She said, "Showing him that we are the bigger people will make him fall that much sooner and then he'll realize we wont be there anymore.. we have more than he'll ever have and that is reason to be happy in itself...
She also told me to quit apologizing...we had no control over it even though we tried... "mom, please don't cry anymore...instead laugh....call a friend and laugh....every moment you spend sad or upset is just a moment of happiness you'll never get back"..
I said....how did you become so smart...."I think you get that from me"...
And she responded..."Obviously"
She is the messenger I believe....I believe God is speaking to me through her....some of the things she comes up with amaze me...what a blessing....
Sorry for the long post but I had to get it off my chest....
(((Hugs)))
Treese
H 49 M 45 D 23, D17, S12 M 25 T 31 01/07 OW H at my door w/proof Bomb ILYBINILWY 06/07 Sep 01/08 headed for the greener grass, Mar08.B#2H has child who is 9 11/08 pos.paternity
Treese, I have to say, I see a little of myself in you. And this is going to sound ungentle, so please excuse me.
I see a little of myself in your posts - myself at those times when I feel lost, or victimized, or defeated, or pathetic. I hate that feeling. I weep too. I'm sad too. But I resolve not to let it rule my life. I have other stuff to do.
I am not pathetic. I am not defeated. I will be happy again. I will live a fulfilling life. And MAYBE, just maybe it will be with my spouse. But I cannot worry about life. Only today. one day at a time. and if I am doing it right, I will be happy TODAY. I will share laughs and smiles with someone today.
Here's the thing - there's no way my wife wants me back if I am pathetic! My crying for her is not going to send her running to me. !!! I have a much better chance of her coming back, if there is something cheerful to come back to! And the same is true for you.
I'm so sorry you miss him. I'm sorry it's hard.
You've got to be strong and courageous now. Be brave. no more crying on your kids - it's not healthy for them. And you will win in the end.
The title of this thread is EXACTLY right on. Be strong. Cry, for a time. But then Get back up and get busy living.
