bizarre - I am at peace w/ where I'm at. I cried deeply on the night I received the evaluation, but I'm ok w/ things now. I realize the focus is completely on quality and not quantity. I may very well end up being more positively influential to my D w/ less time spent w/ her. That is my hope that I will have a significant impact on her even from afar. Just b/c she'll be w/ my STBX more than me doesn't mean I can't be the main influence for her.
Phoenixdeux - I too am upset by it, but it is reality now. You are right as it will be almost impossible to overturn this now, so my concentration is on what I can do w/ the time I have. I will look to ask for more dedicated time in the summer as they can only say no. Again, I'm hoping to get more time w/ D than less, especially when we're all off of school.
You asked if W's "slutty behaviors" could be used against her and to my suprise, I was told they would be "largely irrelevant" in the big scheme of things. The parenting evaluator told me during our 1st meeting that "affairs are pretty common in today's society" so the fact that STBX left me for another man won't hold any weight. Secondly, the parenting evaluator didn't even address the "sleep over" of the new BF w/ D in the apartment in his evaluation. No mention at all!
If we go to trial - which at this point I'm hoping to avoid to save a ton of money - we can bring it all up then, but I'm not sure how much it will help. I think it should carry more weight too, but I guess the courts don't care about morals as they only want "facts." The problem is they won't take the time to investigate "facts" so they'll just take what they hear as the gospel truth and decide from there. It is much easier, I guess. After all, what do they care about me and what is/isn't right? I'm just a number to them, as is my D.
So, I've tried to negotiate a few things w/ STBX this week as the trial is set for Monday. She doesn't seem to like to respond quickly if it isn't her plan on the table. I should be stunned, right?
Her latest "shocker" is to say "maybe we should look to rent the house out for two or three years until the market rebounds." WTF? I asked for this about six months ago before I wracked up so much debt trying to keep the house afloat on my own. I told her I didn't think it was a good idea now and I even said "I need the house to sell. I am broke and my Roth IRA is gone."
I hope this won't end up coming back to bite me by STBX looking to play hardball to get me to concede to save costs. In hindsight I should have kept that one under wraps as she may now try to stick it to me to get me to fold to save money. I don't know if she will or not, but I do know I'm not going to spend $5K in legal fees to extract an extra $2K from STBX. She might try to do that, but I won't.
So, that is basically it. I'm just sitting and waiting for more e-mails from STBX or more phone calls from my L (at $375/hour). Either way, I want some information and I want this behind me as soon as possible. I need to completely move on from all of this.
RTL
We're working on clearing up the final hurdles left now that the biggest shoe has dropped. As long as she doesn't try to grab everything.
