I heard the controlling arguement and then so many others. My husband would say I was "too this" or "too that"... I'd then change my behavior, and be "too another way."
I think sometimes, definitely when an affair begins, these are just excuses to help validate behavior. And when you reply with anger or defensiveness, it's only more fuel to help further validate their behavior.
For example, of course you don't want to pay the cell phone bill on a spouse who uses their phone to text and email OP all day. However, if you complain or stop paying, they then see you as even worse then you were before, and they use this to further validate what they are doing.
Ooooooh I haven't been on surviving in a long time. How sad to hear that life is so dramatic there. I'll have to go take a look. My bud Olive is over there...
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
