Hi ladybug. I can't say who abducted your husband and put this person in his place. I'll say that him calling you every name in the book reeks of him feeling hurt. There may be no objective reason for him to feel that way, but, that's what it sounds like to me.
I'm going to suggest something that I've been thinking on lately. One friend of mine pointed out that a lot of relationships with alcoholics fail after the alcoholic quits drinking. He theorized that they fail because when the alcoholic can no longer be credibly seen as the cause of all the other spouse's troubles and unhappiness, if they are unable or unwilling to look in the mirror at themselves and undertake the personal growth necessary to get past their problems, they will probably leave or sabotage things until the relationship is destroyed.
For so many of the situations here, there isn't abuse or addiction, however, I am starting to think that in many ways the walk away spouses are blaming their internal unhappiness on the LBS and they are walking away thinking that will bring them happiness.
At least for me, I've decided that I need to move on. I hope my W eventually takes a hard look at herself, but, if not, I've grown and changed like a butterfly emerging from a cocoon and I've got to go and do butterfly things.
