In light of Jen’s sitch, it almost seems trivial, but I wanted to update:
Quick re-cap: H applied and interviewed for a job in Santa Maria, putting himself 3hrs away. He’s VERY confident that he’ll get the job, and I don’t doubt it either. How he can move away from the kids, I’ll never understand. We are going to have to sell the house the kids and I are living in. Neither of us can afford it on our own, and h is planning to move anyway. I’ve looked on-line, and I can get a decent house at a good price…but selling our house in going to be a challenge. I don’t think we have equity in it with the way the market is. I LOVE our house, and would hate to sell it, but I see no other way.
I sent an email to h the other day that said I wanted to talk. He told me that he thinks I have a renewed interest in working on our marriage because of the house and pending divorce. I replied in a text last night that said, “I’m OK with selling the house. I’m sad. But, I’ve been looking at houses, praying, and I know that God will take care of the kids and I no matter what.” His reply, “Ur far too dramatic and uneccesarily sarcastic.”
???
OK. Whatever. I didn’t think that needed a reply, so I didn’t.
Here’s where I’m at. I don’t know this man that is currently my husband. At one time, I knew a very caring, thoughtful, loving man who always put me first in his life. He loved God, and wanted to be a better husband and man. This person in front of me now, is NOT the man I married. He’s rude, vulgar, and mean. Folks, I’m not making this up. If I were to meet him today, I would never choose to be friends with him. He has called me every name in the book (all of them). Told me I’m useless, lazy, and a b1tch. Told me to F-off several times… Why do I love him? I KNOW better. I KNOW I’m a worthwhile, smart, caring person. I KNOW I’m a damn good mom, and would die for my family. I don’t want a divorce…but I don’t want this ALIEN either.
How did I get my mindset straight? What do I want, and how can I get there?
Me 36 Husband 35 D5 S2 separated: 10/29/07-present Served divorce papers 1/22/09 "When the world gives out beneath your feet, it is time to learn how to fly."
