I know how you feel about leaving behind family and friends and feeling abandoned when your W got up and WA. I left a very good life in Northern California (lots of friends and a good network of peers) to move down to Southern California because my wife had a strong desire to move here (warmer weather, her brother and friends, etc.). I on the otherhand really have no network or close friends down here, and like you I'm sorta flying solo.
Through my IC sessions, I realized that I was too "clingy" and burdened W with my happiness. You'd think that saying "if she's happy, then I'm happy" was a good thing, but it appears that it's toxic in a relationship. It should be more "if I'm happy, she'll probably be happy", sort of like what's covered in that DB section about "changing anything". So it begs the question - how do you make yourself happy/fulfilled/satisfied without your W?
I don't have clear definitive answers to that question, but from my vantage point I find that doing something new and unfamiliar (e.g. brand new hobby) really helps fill that void. Also, I'm making new friends...my friends and not our friends...and networking with like-minded people. The mantra "you need to be independent before you become co-dependent" speaks volumes.
"Down" days are tough, man...some worse than others. I try to remind myself that these days are indeed fewer and far between compared to a month ago, so that's progress, right? Oh, and for a quick fix, aerobic exercise really helps fight off the blues. Heck, I felt one of them panic attacks surfacing, and I forced myself to go to the gym...at 9:30pm! Gotta do whatever it takes I guess...no matter what time of day it is.
- Me = 32 y/o - WAW = 32 y/o - M = 2.5 yrs, T = 12.5 yrs - No kids - Bomb, WAW moved out, D filed = 8/15/08
