Divorcebusting.com  |  Contact      
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 9 of 11 1 2 7 8 9 10 11
Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 5,299
C
Member
Offline
Member
C
Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 5,299
Survey says......... Yes we have a winner!

She is loving you with her LLs - AOS and QT. Make sense now?
Big clue bird for me too. Known the W 23 years and then it was like , "OOOOHHHH, I get it."
You keep looking for the words of affirmation, she doesn't know yet that's what you want.
Are you feeling better about things now?


M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12
Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 869
N
Member
OP Offline
Member
N
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 869
Hey...finally. I never win anything.

OK...so I am seeing the movement in her that I have been missing and everyone told me was there....now, I suppose it really is time to get my act together and relax a little. Still tons of work to do on me that I promised myself the last few months....work I said....do work...where have I heard that before???


Me46
W39
D19
M20
Bomb4/3/08
# 1
Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 5,299
C
Member
Offline
Member
C
Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 5,299
Never to late to improve yourself. So hard to see your own sitch. She's moving. Now move you (it feels good.)
Cheers


M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12
Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 804
A
Member
Offline
Member
A
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 804
Working on myself has made me a believer in my W and family. Priorize the work and she will notice!


ME-32
W-30
StepD-7
S-5
Bomb Dropped 7/10/08
WAW - 7/26/08
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 2,978
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 2,978
Originally Posted By: ndsmhelp
So, going by what you guys are saying, I can take some of these more recent actions from her as possibly her trying to "show me some love"?...LOL..................Maybe there is something to this love language thing??


BINGO !! (can I be a total smart alec?)

You guys can be taught !!! \:\) Whoo Hoo !!!

Hugs


M 19 years, MC for 8 months, DB'd for 8 months
4 kids; 18, 15, 14, & 10
I was never meant to be a doormat. It took me years of therapy to become assertive enough to stop his abuse.
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 1,443
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 1,443
Now teach me smartcookie...lol. Yes we can be taught. Takes a few more thousand repetitions than a woman.

nds, good for you. I'm glad you're seeing the movement that has been pointed out. That's what I meant about taking your goggles off in one of my previous posts. I'm seeing you see the sight that others saw in their seeing you. \:\)


MySitch
Me-47
STBXW-41
D-5
S-8
ILYBNILWY-01/08
Want a D- 01/09
Physical Sep-01/10
D filed-06/10
Got 50% custody=09/11
Ride that wave!
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 869
N
Member
OP Offline
Member
N
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 869
Yup....Bill and Forrest are probably out there scratching there heads saying WTF??? They have been telling me for months to look at what she is doing rather than waiting for her words, and I was just so focused on what I wanted to hear, that I missed all the little things.

Still, no need to get cocky. Like I said, I have a long way to go with myself, and if she lets me, much more that I would like to do in our relationship to show her that my changes are real, long lasting and sincere.

I know it's still a roller coaster ride and I want to make sure that no matter which way things go in the end, that I will be OK, and even though I talk the talk, I know I am not there yet. GAL, detaching...not my strong suit....when she is good, I feel good...when she is down and distant...me, not so good.

This last month, though, has been very different than what I have seen from her in the past....just trying very hard to not get too wrapped up in it again, and stay on track.


Me46
W39
D19
M20
Bomb4/3/08
# 1
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 1,108
L
Member
Offline
Member
L
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 1,108
nds saw you posted in response to my rant on texting. Hope you enjoyed it! Thanks for sounding in.

LE


M42
S12/D9
T17/M12
Bomb 1 3/22/06
Bomb 2 7/11/08
Bomb 3 7/31/08
W Filed 8/1/08
D granted 12/17/08
D Finalized 1/29/09

A man who compromises his principles never had them in the first place.
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 869
N
Member
OP Offline
Member
N
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 869
Hey LE
Like I said, not a big fan of TM for some things, but with my wife and I in the last few months it really has opened a line of communication that we did not have before.

It's funny though. As much as I enjoy the banter we get going back and forth during the day with text I get a little annoyed when she texts back and forth with a friend when I am around. If there was an OM in our sitch I know I would feel very differently about texting..you know??


Me46
W39
D19
M20
Bomb4/3/08
# 1
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 1,108
L
Member
Offline
Member
L
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 1,108
My W has texted to all 3 of her OM's and that may be another reason I hate it so much. Glad it works for you and W, gotta use what you can until they are willing to open up on a better medium.


M42
S12/D9
T17/M12
Bomb 1 3/22/06
Bomb 2 7/11/08
Bomb 3 7/31/08
W Filed 8/1/08
D granted 12/17/08
D Finalized 1/29/09

A man who compromises his principles never had them in the first place.
Page 9 of 11 1 2 7 8 9 10 11

Moderated by  Michele Weiner-Davis 

Link Copied to Clipboard
Michele Weiner-Davis Training Corp. 1996-2025. All rights reserved.
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5