Hi, well H is gone, took only 1/2 of his stuff. I thought the closet space would be empty but there was still many clothes. I think I will have to pack them and move them to garage. Can't look at them. I am very sad. I don't want to sleep in our bed. When I got home from my walk on the beach my D was home, he had dropped her off. I was surprised because I did not think he would just leave her. But I did call him --crying of course to say goodbye. He said the place is the size of a matchstick. Then he said he would see me tomorrow after work because he is taking D to soccer practice. Then H says do you want to go to lunch tomorrow???? I really do think I am going to call in sick tomorrow. I just need a day to feel low and sorry for myself. Everyday I have been dressing up and trying to walk proud. I just don't have it in me. I need to sleep and I think it will be a sleepless night. I know I should get up, dressed and put do a DB but I will attempt for Monday (he is taking off Friday). By then I will get house going and cleaned. My D will hardly talk to me. She is like h, holding emotions in. She came out of her room and I could tell she was crying. I told her to sit with me but she said she wanted to be by herself. She "DOES not want to talk about it". I am worried about her. Any advice. Thanks to you all for being here for me. It will be a long road.
Me 53 H 50 D16, D29 M 22 years bomb 7/08 INH - alien pod replaces H 8/08 - OW (direct report), I work there also bomb II - H moves 10/1 expose ow 10/22 D to be final 9-09
I read the same thing Marisol... and that made me sick too... but as T2L said... follow your heart... once you are done trying you will know... what is it going to hurt to delay it... nothing.
Hope - boy you've had a rough week too... I agree my girl has been sleeping with me or comes down in middle of the night and it helps.. the first week is the hardest... take it from me.. It has been one week since mine left and it is already better. It will be quite and the king bed will feel big but you will get use to it - or it will get easier I should say...
T2L - I am on the fence right now too with how to act around my H.. I feel I need to really do some searching... I either be nice, warm, talk his Love Language and fill his Love Bank as much as I can with keeping boundries of course ... I just get scared and think " out of sight out of mind"
I don't want him to have his cake and eat it too either - coming and getting his fix and then going back to OW... but on the other hand I feel that the more time he spends over at the house with our kids it is less time he is with her.. gives me the opporutnity to do my 180's, not ask too many questions, let him lead conversation, be pleasant, etc... so hard but I know the hurt and sad and frustrated me doesn't make him feel any closer to me..
Ok question - I should post on my thread which I'll do next but H has the girls all day Saturday until Sunday and he won't be in his own place by then ... he said he'd like to watch them at the house and stay at the house... I have a friend coming in from Austin and we were going to stay at my house... H said he'll take the girls to a Hotel but maybe I should stay at another friends and just let him stay at house... thoughts??? he needs to find his own place - he is staying with OW since last week.. driving me crazy..
hang in there ladies...
When God leads you to the edge of the cliff, trust Him fully and let go, only 1 of 2 things will happen, either He'll catch you when you fall, or He'll teach you how to fly! God closes doors no man can open & God opens doors no man can close. God is going to shift things around for you today and let things work in your favor
Me: 38/H:40 M:7yrs TG: 10yrs 2Girls: 4yr & 7 month old Bomb 8/22/08 OW/EA/PA 8/23/08 with 25yr old Moved out 9/22/08
Well everyone, it is morning. I have called in sick today. I was up most the night. It was sooo quiet in the house and could not sleep. I kept hearing every little noise.
My concern is with D15 today. She is angry/hurt. I finally got her out of her room and she kept starting to cry but would stop. "She doesn't want to talk about it", then she goes on to tell me she is having a really tough time at school and failed her history test (has never failed a test in school since she started high school). She said I can't focus. Everything is negative. Now this is a kid that was like sunshine everyday. She is so upset that her Dad moved out and that he is going away for the weekend and can do whatever he wants. I guess H asked her last night if she wanted to see his apartment. She said NO. She is just MAD. I am calling the school today and talk to the counselor there. H called her before she left for school and she talked to him 10 seconds and said she had to go. My poor kid. She is spiraling. Her whole personality changed in a week.
Me 53 H 50 D16, D29 M 22 years bomb 7/08 INH - alien pod replaces H 8/08 - OW (direct report), I work there also bomb II - H moves 10/1 expose ow 10/22 D to be final 9-09
Let me ask myt D17 if there is anything maybe that could help you or her. Of course when she gets up, sorry its only 7 A.M. hre in California.
I think it would be great it you and your daughter could get out today. Maybe go get lunch and buy buy a top at the mall or something. Get out today. I know you don't feel like it and it sounds silly but do it anyways. Even if it's just for a bit. Pamper you and your daughter today.
I'll be back in a bit...
Me-38 H-38 Married 18years Daughter-17 & Son-9 Discovery of EA/PA 4/23/08 Left home 5/08/08 Moved in with OW 08/01/08
The only rock I know that stays steady, the only institution I know that works is the family. -- Lee Iacocca
Hi T2L, thanks for advice. D went to school and then called me because she left running shoes home (she always remembers her stuff), I asked how is your day and she said lousy. I talked to H this morning told him I was staying home and what a tough time D had last night. H is coming here after work to spend time with D and take her to soccer practice and talk. Not sure if that is the right thing to do because he is causing all of her pain. H said he had a bad night sleeping - new bed is like a rock...boohoo. Like I am supposed to feel sorry. I did take a 3 hour nap. Off to the school to drop off the shoes and hopefully see the counselor about D. T2L, appreciate letting me know what D17 says. sad day. Keep us posted for your plan of attack. I ordered the book yesterday.
Me 53 H 50 D16, D29 M 22 years bomb 7/08 INH - alien pod replaces H 8/08 - OW (direct report), I work there also bomb II - H moves 10/1 expose ow 10/22 D to be final 9-09
Hope - Sounds like H took 1/2 his stuff so he has an excuse to keep coming back home. That is where he wants to be he's just not sure of himself or how to go about fixing what has been broken. Keep talking to your D. Hug her and kiss her and tell her as much as you can how much you love her and that you are there for her and she can tell you anything. I'm sure you are already but in time she will come around. My D and I have always had a close relationship since she was young so this transition has been hard for her but she is comfortable telling me everything she feels, thinks about, etc. You will have that too! I know you will! Be strong for yourself and for her! She will know and see the strength in you.
TxMom - I love the saying you posted! I am printing it and putting it on my monitor at work. It gave me chills when I read it. As for your question, if it were me I would let him stay in the house with the kids so he can feel what he is missing. Let him feel what its like with you not there. If you have pictures on the wall I bet he would look at those and remember. But that's just me....you do what feels right for you.
My H gets back today from Illinois from the funeral then turns around and leaves tomorrow. I did text him last night asking how everything went and he did respond that it went well and thanks for asking and that it was late there so he was going to bed. In my mind I hope that seeing this makes him think twice about what he is doing now. I hope that his uncle that he is very close too talked with him. Every day I say a prayer for him. It will be so hard for all of us when the holidays come and they are just around the corner.
Me35/H35 D16/SS14 M-1yr/known H 18yrs 1st Bomb: 4/26 OW35 2nd Bomb: 8/17 OW21 Moved out 8/21/08 H filed D on 9/9/08
God determines who walks into your life...it's up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let go.
